Monday, November 30, 2009

the famous santa threat.

HI! I JUST HAD SOMETHING CUTE HAPPEN, SO BEFORE I FORGET, WE HAVE BEEN USING THE FAMOUS THREAT OF "IF YOU ARE NOT NICE SANTA WONT BRING YOU TOYS", AND LILLI SAID "WHAT ABOUT DAD, HAS HE BEEN NICE?" OR YOU MOM, "WERE YOU NICE?" IT MADE ME LAUGH AND THINK, HAVE WE BEEN? I AM SURE MY MOM WOULD SAY YES, I HAVE BEEN. BUT JUST IN CASE, I WILL BUY MY OWN GIFT. WE WENT TO WALL-MART SATURDAY, AND I LET LILLI PICK A GIFT FOR TOYS FOR TOTS, SINCE THEY WERE COLLECTING THAT DAY. WE BOUGHT IT, AND SHE GAVE IT TO THE SANTA THERE TO GIVE TO KIDS. THEN LILLI SAID "MOM HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SANTA, HE HAD A WIG FOR A BEARD." SHE DOESN'T MISS A THING. I PERSONALLY AM NOT A FAN OF HOW CHRISTMAS IS PERCEIVED. IT SEEMS TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH JESUS, BUT I CAN'T HELP USING THE BRIBE OF SANTA. IN A PERFECT WORLD MY GIRLS WOULD JUST BE AS SWEET AS THEY LOOK, BUT THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE. SOME DAYS I FEEL I NEED A WHISTLE AND STRIPED SHIRT FOR MY SWEET GIRLS. I OFTEN CALL MY MOM TERESA FOR PARENTING ADVICE. SHE SEEMS TO HAVE DONE THE BEST JOB WITH HER ROLE AS A MOM. MAYBE SHE JUST HAD THE BEST DAUGHTER TO WORK WITH. BUT HER BOYS TURNED OUT GOOD TOO. I REALLY THINK SHE HAS THE MAGIC. I DO A LOT OF PRAYING THAT I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR MY DAUGHTERS. BUT I KNOW I AM A TOTAL SOFTY FOR THEM. I ALWAYS WANT TO BELIEVE THEY ARE TRYING TO BE THEIR BEST. WHEN I WAS A NANNY I WAS MUCH MORE FIRM.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.
LOVE TAMI AND HER DARLING GIRLS.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Tami here.

WE HAD A GREAT THANKSGIVING, WITH LOTS TO GIVE THANKS FOR, AND LOTS OF YUMMY FOOD! GRANDMA TONI AND AUNT MONICA DID ALL THE COOKING. THE BOYS WENT RIDING ON THEIR FOUR WHEELERS. THE GIRLS AND I HUNG OUT, ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR FOOD. OF COURSE IT WAS FABULOUS! I TRIED TO EAT AS MUCH AS I COULD FIT, WHILE LEAVING A SPACE FOR PIE LATER. THEN BRING ON THE FOOD COMA! MY ELLA PASSED OUT IN HER CHAIR, SOUND ASLEEP RIGHT BEFORE WE ATE. TONI ASKED WHO IS GOING TO SAY GRACE? LILLI SPOKE UP AND SHOUTED OUT "GRACE"! WE ALL LAUGHED AND SHE SAID, "MOM WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" SO I EXPLAINED, AND ON WENT THE MEAL.
SINCE SLEEPING SOMEWHERE ELSE IS NEVER THE SAME AS BEING AT HOME, THE GIRLS HAD A ROUGH NIGHT BEFORE. SO WE WERE ALL EXTRA TIRED AFTER DINNER. THE GIRLS AND ALBERT FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, ALL SLUNG OVER EACH OTHER. IT WAS SO CUTE! MY LITTLE FAMILY IN A DOG PILE! WE HAD TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE WAS SNORING. I THINK IT WAS ALL 3.
WE CAME HOME THURSDAY NIGHT, AND ALBERT WENT TO MEET HIS BROTHER FOR A WEDDING IN LAS VEGAS. SO THE GIRLS AND I ARE BEING LAZY TODAY. I HOPE EVERY ONE HAD A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY. LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Good afternoon. It is Tami. My girls are off to school. It is so quiet at home, I love it!
So I went to the new doctor yesterday. She seems very good. She is VERY thorough, which is good. The old doctor was the exact opposite. I think I will like her. I was frustrated yesterday because she set up 2 appointments for me on Wednesday. She wants me to have my eyes checked, in case my seizure medication is causing trouble with my vision. We do want to know if it is, although I am concerned, because I don't want to have to switch meds again. But my real trouble was finding rides and child care for these 2 appointments on such short notice. I go to the first one at 8a.m and will have to be gone most of the day Wednesday. That stinks for me, but I shouldn't complain. I will have Thursday and Friday to rest.
One funny thing with the new doc is, she says I need to be eating 3 to 5 meals a day. I had to laugh since I am doing good to have 2 a day! SO THIS WILL MAKE BETH feel better about my diet. I might even gain a pound or two.
Now I know I am not part of the general female population when I say I am trying to gain weight, and that I am self conscience about my bones showing. Only Hollywood thinks being this skinny is cool.
The cute part of my Monday had to be watching my little Ella dance to dads music. Lilli has been a dancer since she could stand, but Ella is much more reserved. But she is changing and she had her hands on hips and was rocking out. It was so cute! Wish I could show everyone. Although she is growing up I still see her as my little baby.
I will be gone for a few days. We are going to Albert's grandma Toni's, in Enterprise for Thanksgiving. I wish you all a wonderful holiday!
GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU ALL.
Love Tami and her tiny dancers.

Monday, November 23, 2009

SNEAKY CHILDREN.

HELLO IT IS TAMI AGAIN WITH OUR NEWEST CHALLENGE. I PUT THE GIRLS TO BED AS USUAL LAST NIGHT AND; THEN IT SOUNDED LIKE A PARTY, SO I WENT IN TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND; ELLA WAS UP ON LILLI'S BUNK BED WITH A FLASH LIGHT AND THEY WERE HAVING A BALL. SO I TURNED THE LIGHT ON AND THEY WERE COVERED IN MY LIP-STICK! SO THEY BOTH GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT AND HAD TO GO BACK TO BED. THIS MORNING I NOTICED THAT LILLI HAD HER NAILS PAINTED PURPLE. SO I CHECKED HER BED, AND SURE ENOUGH, POLISH ON EVERYTHING! I HAD THROWN THE POLISH AWAY LAST WEEK AND I HAD TRIED TO HIDE THE LIP-STICK, OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH. THEY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO GET AT IT. SO TODAY SHE IS GROUNDED TO HER ROOM AND I AM PUZZLED WITH HOW TO PREVENT FUTURE ADVENTURES OF SNEAKINESS. ANY ADVICE IS WELCOME.
I KNOW IT LOOKS REALLY BAD TO TIE UP CHILDREN'S HANDS, SO I WON'T GO THAT ROUTE. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO START PATTING THEM DOWN BEFORE THEY LEAVE A ROOM. LIKE A METAL OR MAKE-UP DETECTOR. NOW WE ONLY HAVE 2 CHILDREN WE SHOULD HAVE A HANDLE ON THAT. SOME FOLKS HAVE MANY MORE. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT TROUBLE.
I HAVE AN APT. WITH A NEW NEUROLOGIST TODAY. WE WERE NOT PLEASED WITH THE LAST ONE. AT LEAST IT SHOULD BE A PAINLESS VISIT. I WILL TELL HOW IT GOES LATER. I FEEL LIKE I AM GETTING IN THE GROOVE OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION BETTER EACH DAY.
MORE TO COME LATER.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

tami here.

Hi! to all . It is Saturday morning and I have the girls watching Little Mermaid so I can update without their fingers trying to help. I was reading back through the old blog from the beginning of this journey, and was brought to tears by all the love. I missed most of the stressful action I brought to those that followed the news. What a trip! I hope to never repeat it. Those that talk to me, or see me, know that I am a huge Twilight fan. I had read all the books before my stroke, and once I was home, I buried myself in them again, for the happy escape that reading gives me. Last night was opening day of the New Moon movie, and my dear friend Andrea bought me a ticket earlier in the month. So we went last night, and it was fabulous! I am already wanting to see it again. I even played my handicap card and didn't have to wait in line. It was funny though, the staff said to me," Where is the handicap person?" I laughed and said," It's me, but thanks for not noticing."
This morning Albert had to work, so the girls and I are hanging at home, like we do. My little Ella did a 2 year old thing and came crying to me. I asked " what happened?" She cried,"I have licorice in my nose!" I had given them a nibs, and I guess it smelled good. We got it out, and I thought, "at least it took her this long before she tried that childhood trick." I am so much better than my old blogs. It is crazy what we can survive, once put to the test. I continue to improve. I know that I have to keep trying things that I maybe couldn't do before, because I can usually do them now. I still have a long way to go, because I want near perfection. I want everything just as good as it used to be, and I WILL get it!
Continued love, and grace to all.
Love Tami
Thank you to everyone for the last year.
My editor mother Teresa has been busy correcting my punctuation and grammar this week since I have entered so much . Love you mom.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

tami's evening post.

Hello from Tami. It is Thursday night. My girls are sleeping and I should be too, but wanted to brag about my babies first school picture day. Their aunt Monica came in the morning to fix their hair so cute ! She did pigtails with perfect ringlets for each. She had also bought ribbon to put in. They looked so innocent and cute! I am so excited to see the pictures. Their teacher said that Ella wouldn't smile. She had told me she was going to do a scary face. I hope that wasn't the case.

I had biofeedback therapy today, and continue to beat past records for myself. I also told him I am running out of patience. I am usually really good at staying positive, but I can feel myself losing that with my hand. I can surely move my shoulder and arm, but still nothing of use. I have had it with not having two hands! I find myself wanting to scream or cry through the day when I remember it doesn't work! Because I will go to do something that should be so simple, like carry laundry, or help my girls get dressed, and sure enough, it just hangs there. Now 6 months of that is annoying. It has been more than a year, and I have had it! I really hope I have learned whatever lesson God is trying to teach me.... Because I need a recess !!!

Now there is a man that has therapy with me on Thursdays, and he has been paralyzed for 3 1/2 years. He is now standing, and can walk with a walker. So I tell myself if he can do that, there is no reason I can't get my damn hand going! I'm sure I should say " dang hand" but that's not what I mean! I feel sometimes like I am being a snot. I should be so happy that I have made it through all this mess and all I lost was one limb and some brain. But I still have so much left, or technically I have my right side, not much of my left, but you know what I mean. Everyone says at least I am young, but that is a double-edge sword. Yes, I am young, so I should be tougher, but I am too young for this crap! My parents are too old for this crap! No offence mom and dad, you know I love you both, and you have the crappiest seat in this. My Ella cut her lip at the park, and I wanted to cry for her! She is my baby! I am 28 and totally my parents baby, at least my dads for sure. Teresa has a softer spot for my children. I think she is used to my drama.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hi, from Tami . We made it through Tuesday, so I'm sure that since I mentioned just yesterday how great my blood check has been, I jinxed it for today. My blood has been perfect since August. Today it was too thin. No big deal, it just means they alter my dose a bit and they have to draw a vile of blood. My girls always come with, so when I knew the shot was coming, I said "dang it", and Lilli said, "What's wrong mom?" So I explained that mom hates shots. She said "Be tough mom, if you're sad then I am sad. " So I said," No worries baby, mom is so tough, and Ms. ancy does it so it doesn't even hurt." Then my dear friend Julie, that had driven us there , took the girls to school, since it was time for it. Then I came home and picked up the hurricane mess that my angels had made earlier. Once I had done that, it was safe to try a nap. I slept for one lovely hour, then dad and the girls were home. My little Ella is still getting used to school during her nap time, so she crashes as soon as she's home. Tomorrow I told Ella, if the sun isn't up she has to stay in bed. She was up at 6AM this morning again, so hungry she needed a few pieces of cereal and a drink of milk, then she's done and tired. I tried to feed her extra before bed to make her not hungry.

Wednesday is my favorite day, only Lilli goes to school, and then it is just Ella and mom. We have no appointments and we always go to church @ 7pm. I love it! The girls have the little kids bible class to go to, and dad and I sit in the service. I love it so much! I look forward to it all week.
Love to all, good night.
I'm too tired to proof read this, my mom does it again anyway.
Thanks Teresa.

Monday, November 16, 2009

my happy monday.

MY DARLING ELLA WOKE ME AT 6:15 THIS MORNING. EARLY EVEN FOR HER! SHE WAS WHINING ABOUT HOW HUNGRY SHE WAS, SO I TIREDLY GOT UP TO GET HER BREAKFAST, AND HONESTLY SHE TOOK 2 BITES AND WENT TO LIE ON THE FLOOR CUZ SHE'S TIRED. DUH ! THE SUN WASN'T EVEN UP! SO BY 7A.M. I WAS ALREADY DREAMING ABOUT LUNCH AND NAP TIME. I KNOW THAT ONE DAY THEY WILL BE TOO BIG TO NAP, BUT I WILL PUSH IT TILL THE LAST MOMENT. SO I LEAVE THE HOUSE A MESS, AND TRY TO GET A NAP TOO. SOME DAYS BETTER THAN OTHERS . BOTH GIRLS HAVE PRESCHOOL TOMORROW SO THAT WILL BE MY BLESSED NAP OF THE WEEK . WE HAVE MY BLOOD CHECK IN THE MORNING AND GRATEFULLY I HAVE HAD PERFECT NUMBERS FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW. SO I DON'T EVEN WONDER ABOUT IT ANYMORE. IT IS THE GIRLS FAVORITE APPOINTMENT TO GO TO WITH ME . THE NURSE THAT DOES MY BLOOD WORK ALSO LOVES THE GIRLS AND SPOILS THEM WITH 2 SUCKERS EACH. THE WHOLE CLINIC LOVES TO SEE THEM . I ALMOST WORRY IF THEY WOULD STILL TREAT ME AS WELL WITH OUT MY SIDE KICKS. THE NURSE IS NAMED NANCY ,THEY CALL HER MS. ANCY THEY WATCH HER SO OFTEN I BET LILLI KNOWS HOW TO DO IT HERSELF. MY LITTLE FUTURE NURSES.
WHEN ALBERT GOT HOME TODAY I ASKED HIM TO TAKE ME TANNING, SOMETHING I USED TO DO ALLOT BUT HADN'T SINCE I HAD LILLI . THERE IS A PLACE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. I WENT TWICE LAST WEEK , AND REMEMBERED HOW MUCH I LOVE IT! I LOVE THE WARMTH, DOWN TO MY BONES, AND NOW IT'S LIKE A MOMMY TIME OUT.
I USED TO WORRY ABOUT WRINKLES, BUT AFTER THIS LAST YEAR I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THAT. NOW MY BABIES ARE IN BED SO I HAVE SOME QUIET TIME TO REFLECT ON OUR DAY .
FOR LUNCH I LET THEM GET ON THE COUNTER TO WATCH ME, AND WHEN I GOT THEM DOWN, THEY WERE BOTH SO HAPPY BECAUSE MOMMY WAS HOLDING THEM. I LOVE THAT THEY STILL JUST THINK OF ME AS THE SAME OL' MOM. THEY LOVE ME EVEN IF I CAN ONLY HOLD THEM FOR A SHORT MINUTE. THEY MAKE MY WORLD A HAPPY PLACE . THEY REALLY LOVE THAT THEY ARE FASTER THAN ME.

DAD WALKED THEM TO THE PARK CLOSE BY TONIGHT, AFTER DINNER . THEY CAME BACK FREEZING COLD. SO THEN WE HAD HOT COCOA TO WARM UP.
I AM SO LUCKY! WHAT A LIFE I HAVE! HOT CHOCOLATE WITH ANGELS , PLUS THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE DADDY WITHDRAWALS TODAY. THAT WAS GREAT FOR ME!
GOD BLESS AND LOVE TO ALL.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Tami here, with our weekend fun.

Saturday we went to uncle David's birthday party, at their house. All day Ella said she was going to help uncle David with his candles. Ella is hard to win over, but while I was in the hospital, the girls spent alot of time with family, and David made a soft spot in Ella's heart. He is currently her favorite. I hear he would let her pick large amounts of grapes from our grape vine, and the way to her heart is surely through her tummy. So like she planned, David put her on his lap while we sang, and Ella soaked up the glory, pretending we were singing to her. She then helped him blow the candles out and each time one of the family would say "Hi Ella", she would respond with , " I go to school now." She is so happy to be in the club with her sister, and as their mom it's always fun to see how proud & happy my daughters are.
We ate wonderful food, as always, with Albert's family, and when we went home we brought home the girls cousin for a sleepover. She is 6 and loves playing with the girls. Sunday morning we got our usual weekend breakfast that dad always makes, waffles with whip-cream & strawberries. Then I needed to go to Walmart, so we took the kids to the park first to let them run around, but it was really cold for us sun- soakers, probably 50 or so. It was windy too, so I hid in the truck while dad played with all 3 girls. He is always willing to play. Lucky for me, and for the girls. Then off for the endless Walmart list. Usually we each take one girl and meet at the front. I had the two big girls, Lilli and her cousin. It was the first time Lilli got to walk. It took her about 10 minutes before her excitement wore off, but she was good and stayed close to mom, and I would tell them what we needed and let them put it in the cart. They found that to be very neat, like they were shopping. We came home to have lunch and let them have a nap. Then I was so pleased about getting in the bath last week, so I decided to try it again. A nice peaceful bath. I think I had about 10 minutes before Lilli and Ella were standing right next to the tub, giving me bath toys from their tub, wondering why I didn't have some already, and they want to help mom all the time. So they stood at the door and kept saying "mom just tell us if you need anything." THEY waited... not so patiently... until I was ready to give up on my relaxing bath. They really are sweet! They want to help with anything I need. So I gave in and let them do their favorite thing, and use their always cold little hands, to put lotion on mom's back. They learned this from when Teresa lived here, even the cold hand part. We had to find some way for them to be useful. Now tomorrow is withdrawal day. They both go into shock on Mondays when dad goes back to work, after they have their best buddy home for two days. It's always hard when he leaves. They love mom but on Monday when they wake, they are so sad to see that dad is gone . With mom it's just routine and house junk, with dad it's play and outings. He really has fun with them. Ella tells him," You're just a big boy." I have to agree. The 3 of them are noisy, fun, and silly. Very lucky to have such an active dad for my girls. They just keep getting bigger. I can't believe my Lilli will be 4 in January! How time flies! We both know we only have about 10 years of fun to go, and then trouble, 14 and 13, and they are so sassy, heaven help us! Albert's birthday is next month, and like most, he's not looking forward to being older, and I'm chomping at the bit to be 30! Two years to go, but I imagine how strong I will be by then, and with hope, I'll be wiser as well. I'm so excited for both! I also daydream of how incredibly easy my days will be, as soon as I gain full use of my left arm. I truly feel blessed that my health challenge was hard as heck to begin and NOW I have as long as I need to get better. Most illnesses, it's the other way, it gets progressively worse. Mine was a big wreck and then eased off, not easy, but do-able, I get to know the worst is behind me, and since they found out what caused it, I have full faith it won't ever happen again. Glad to get that out of the way. For those that were there when I woke from the trauma, I had thought I was in the hospital to have a baby. What other reason would a young woman be in the hospital? So I was very sad to find out that wasn't the case, and even though I struggle to keep up with my two, my heart still wants the one from my coma dream. God is mysterious, who knows, maybe I get that baby later in life. I adore my girls, and know I have little angels tearing up my house each day, but there is nothing more magical than a new baby. I continue to dream of my delusional baby at least once a week. I am so glad I got the two real ones first. My memories of the coma are very interesting to me. I remember bits and pieces of reality, in a fog of hallucinations is the best I can describe it. I wish I could update with some photos. We just got some of our Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty from Halloween, and holy crow! They look stunning! I would love to show them off. We are really hoping to get a family photo done before the holidays. We haven't ever had a real one. When we get one, I'll try to get it on here. Well my girls are in bed and I'm ready to follow, as for the entry from my grandma Ann , I had mentioned that I might stop making entries and she obviously doesn't want that, and if it would make her happy I will write them forever! She has been amazing, as always, but so much this last year. She still takes me to my biofeedback therapy most weeks. She scanned a very neat article on it to me, So if anyone would like it I can e-mail it to you. It talks about some special cases where some have recovered from stroke and spinal cord injuries. It's proof that I will get everything back the way I used to be. It'll be hard work, but that's what makes things worth while. I have been so focused on being able to fix the girls hair , it barely occurred to me last week that I will be able to fix mine as well. I hadn't even thought of how useful that will be for me! I had Albert take me to go tanning twice this week. I used to go all the time, 'till I was pregnant. So it had been 3 years since I had gone. I forgot how much I loved it! Since I am always so cold, it felt great to be warm to my bones for awhile. I'm so happy to fit that in, since I'm so pale. I only do about 7 minutes, so Albert and the girls just wait in the truck. It feels good to have even 7 minutes to myself. I asked Albert that on the days he gets to go to the gym I would love to go tan, sounds like a good deal for both of us. Each week gets more comfortable for all of us, as we adjust to our new life. Albert has been going out on his 4wheeler a lot lately. I know that's how he has fun. Last week he crashed and got some road rash, he had the girls taking care of him since I'm mean and had no sympathy. I told him to " suck it up." Lilli said" suck what up, mom?" I know he's itching to go camping again. They haven't been for almost a month, which is long for them , but it's getting colder.
love to all and GOD BLESS.

Grandma Ann here. . . .

I think it is very important for you to continue this blog. It serves as a record/journal for you. This story that has been logged here from the beginning and as you said, you receive strength from reading how far you've come.

The entries don't have to be long and terribly detailed, but I encourage to write at least weekly . . . . .posting how your life is becoming more 'normal' and things that encourage or discourage you. Also, it will be so fun for your girls to read about themselves and what a delight they are to you.

I think you still have friends and family that would love to check in here periodically. . . .keep it up sweetheart! Love ya!

Friday, November 13, 2009

tami's back to update the week.

ELLA HAD HER FIRST DAYS AT PRESCHOOL THIS WEEK . SHE WILL JOIN LILLI 2 DAYS A WEEK. LILLI GOES 3 DAYS. ELLA COULD BARELY CONTAIN HER JOY AT KNOWING SHE WAS GOING TO SCHOOL WITH HER BIG SISTER ON TUESDAY. IT WAS PRETTY CUTE. SHE HAS BEEN VERY GOOD WITHOUT HER PACIFIER. SHE ALSO GRADUATED OUT OF HER HIGH CHAIR THIS WEEK. SHE IS OFFICIALLY A BIG GIRL. SHE HAD A VERY EXCITING MONTH, POTTY TRAINED, GOING TO PRESCHOOL, NO PACIFIER OR HIGH CHAIR. MY BABY IS GETTING SO BIG! THEIR TEACHER PICKS THEM UP ON TUESDAY AND THURSDAY, AND JUST LILLI WEDNESDAY. THE SCHOOL THEY GO TO IS REALLY GREAT, AND THEY SAID THE GIRLS ARE SO FUN TO HAVE. LILLI GETS TO PLAY THE BOSSY BIG SISTER, A ROLE SHE'S GOOD AT. THEY JUST GIGGLE AND PLAY AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT THEIR DAY AND ALL THE FRIENDS THEY MAKE. I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL NOW THAT THEY ARE GETTING BIG TOGETHER. WHEN I HAD THEM SO CLOSE IT WAS REALLY HARD, BUT NOW IT'S PAYING OFF. THAT IS OUR BIG NEWS RIGHT NOW.
I WAS THINKING I MIGHT CUT BACK ON MY BLOG ENTRIES FOR AWHILE
SINCE MY PROGRESS HAS SLOWED DOWN. I WILL JUST BRAG ABOUT MY GIRLS CONTINUED GROWTH.
I WANTED TO WAIT TILL I GOT TO ANNOUNCE SOMETHING WONDERFUL LIKE I BRAIDED THEIR HAIR OR ZIPPED A JACKET. I HAVE BEEN GOING BACK TO READ THE OLDER ENTRIES IN THE BLOG TO REMIND MYSELF HOW FAR I HAVE COME. I FORGET SINCE I JUST CONTINUE. NOW I'M SELFISH AND STILL WANT BIG LEAPS OF IMPROVEMENT. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REALLY FOCUS ON MY LEFT LEG TO MAKE MY WALKING BETTER. IT IS GETTING STRONGER AND I CAN PRACTICE ANYWHERE I GO. IT KIND OF LOOKS SILLY WHEN I'M TRYING TO SWING MY ARM AROUND. I SAVE THAT ONE FOR HOME. I APPRECIATE THE SMALLEST THINGS THAT'S FOR SURE! LAST WEEK I ACCOMPLISHED A HUGE THING FOR ME. I HAVE A NICE BIG TUB THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO USE SINCE IT IS SO DEEP. I WAS SCARED TO GET IN. WE HAD TRIED WHEN TERESA FIRST BROUGHT ME HOME, AND IT DIDN'T REALLY WORK. BUT LAST WEEK I GOT IN AND OUT BY MYSELF. I WAS VERY HAPPY AND PROUD OF ME FOR DOING THAT! I ALSO REALIZED THAT MY GIRLS GET ALOT OUT OF THOSE MOMENTS, SINCE THEY GET TO LEARN HOW TO HELP THEMSELVES WITH THINGS MOM ISN'T ABLE TO DO YET. MY LITTLE ELLA CAN DRESS HERSELF AND PUT HER SHOES ON. OF COURSE, I WISH I COULD DO EVERY THING THEY NEED, SO I REMIND MYSELF THAT IT TEACHES THEM INDEPENDENCE SKILLS.
GOD BLESS ALL, UNTIL NEXT TIME, TAMI

Friday, November 6, 2009

my e-mail at last. for those that have been waiting for me.

It's a long one but I guess there are a lot of Tamara Richardsons out there.
taminatormom 14 @live.com
I can usually check it at least once a day.
As you all know Teresa left .
Ella had her first dentist check yesterday and he said no more pacifier. So we had to do the heart-breaking task of taking it away. She cried most of yesterday & ended up in mom and dad's bed last night. She is so sad! I think it'll be hard for me to stick to since I have a super soft heart and hate to have her so sad all day. She is still my baby, even if she's two. Her dad cut all her pacifiers up, so I have no choice but to follow rules .
This morning she asked Lilli to go buy her a new one.
God bless to all and to Beth, yes I'm eating. I even put on 3 whole pounds in a month! That's huge for me! It takes a lot of ice-cream and focus. love you.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

IT'S TAMI

WOW! I JUST SAW THE NEW PICTURES FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT'S STILL UNREAL FOR ME TO SEE THE OLD PICTURE FROM THE HOSPITAL. I WAS SO SCAREY LOOKING! I HAVE TO GO TO AN APPOINTMENT NOW. I'LL WRITE MORE LATER.

TERESA GOES HOME

HI FRIENDS AND FAMILY. TERESA HAS BEEN HERE BLESSING ME WITH HER HELP AND PATIENCE WITH MY GIRLS. I REALIZED IT'S A GOOD THING SHE HAD TO MOVE BACK TO VERNAL AND LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF AND THE GIRLS. IT'S MUCH TOO EASY TO SIT BACK AND LET HER TAKE OVER FOR ME. I SURELY HAVE IMPROVED OUT OF NESSECITY. SHE HAS TO HEAD HOME TODAY. SADLY WE ALWAYS WISH SHE COULD SPEND MORE TIME. THE GIRLS JUST ADORE HER AND MIND HER SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEY DO ME.
I TRY TO CONTINUALLY GET USED TO THE NEW ME. I GET FRUSTRATED SINCE I WAS SO DRIVEN AND INDEPENDANT BEFORE AND I DO REQUIRE SO MUCH HELP FROM OTHERS. STILL THE CORE OF ME STILL KNOWS HOW LUCKY I AM, BUT THE HUMAN PART OF ME GETS IRRITATED WITH MY TROUBLED BODY. I TOLD TERESA I'M SURPRISED THAT I CAN STILL HAVE SO MUCH PRIDE AND WANT TO DO THINGS BY MYSELF. I WOULD THINK I COULD LET THAT GO BY NOW.
LOVE TO ALL AND GOD BLESS

Sunday, November 1, 2009

HI AGAIN FROM TAMI. WE HAD OUR HALLOWEEN FUN FRIDAY NIGHT. ALBERT'S FAMILY TOOK THE GIRLS OUT SATURDAY TOO, BUT I WAS TO TIRED TO GO AGAIN, SO I HUNG AT HOME HOPING FOR FEW TRICK- OR- TREATERS, SINCE I HAD MY FAVORITE TREATS TO GIVE AND WOULD LOVE TO EAT THEM MYSELF. THE GIRLS HAD A BLAST AND I DID MANAGE TO HIDE THE CANDY WHERE THEY CAN'T FIND IT, AND WE CAN RATION IT OUT SLOWLY. IT'S SO DIFFERENT TO BE THE PARENT INSTEAD OF THE KID. I STILL REMEMBER HOW MY DAD WOULD" INSPECT" MY TREATS FOR SO CALLED SAFETY, AND NOW ITS MY TURN.
I KNOW TERESA MENTIONED MY CALIFORNIA TRIP, BUT I WILL FILL IN THE EXTRA INFO. I WENT SO I COULD GET A BREAK FROM THE HOUSE AND SEE WHERE ALBERT IS FROM. SURE ENOUGH I MISSED MY GIRLS THE SECOND I LEFT THE HOUSE. I HAD BEEN QUITE NERVOUS TO TRAVEL THAT FAR. IT'S NOT AS EASY FOR ME NOW, PLUS I HAD NEVER BEEN SO FAR FROM MY BABIES. ALBERT'S FAMILY WAS VERY WELCOMING AND MAKES THE BEST FOOD! I THINK I ATE MORE THAT WEEKEND THAN I HAVE ALL YEAR! IT WAS WONDERFUL! WE WENT TO THE SAN DIEGO ZOO AND I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD MOTOR CARTS FOR THE ELDERLY, WHICH I FEEL LIKE I AM. SO I TRIED TO BE TOUGH AND WALKED THE WHOLE DAY! THAT WASN'T THE BEST IDEA I'VE HAD. IT WAS NERVE RACKING TO HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. I ALMOST GOT KNOCKED DOWN TWICE BY ROWDY KIDS. I FORGET THAT THEY CAN BE DANGEROUS, SINCE MY GIRLS ARE SO USED TO ME AND KNOW TO BE CAREFUL WITH MOM. BUT IT WAS STILL VERY NEAT AND MAN WAS I SORE THE NEXT DAY! BUT IT WAS MY BACK THAT WAS SORE, SO I KNEW I WASN'T WALKING RIGHT. WELL I ALREADY KNEW THAT. SO THE NEXT TIME I HAD BIO- FEEDBACK I ASKED TO WORK ON MY LEFT KNEE INSTEAD OF MY ARM. IT WAS SO NEAT! HE HOOKED IT UP AND IT SHOWED THAT THERE WAS NO CONNECTION FROM MY BRAIN. BASICALLY MY BRAIN COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAD A LEFT KNEE. BECAUSE OF THAT I HAD NO MUSCLE, SO AFTER ABOUT 5 MINUTES OF USING THE COMPUTER TO LET MY BRAIN FIND THE CONNECTION, WE HAD IT WORKING. I WAS SO EXCITED THAT I KEPT WORKING ON IT UNTIL MY LEG FATIGUED. I WAS PROUD, BUT THEN I LEFT AND MY LEG WAS SO TIRED I COULDN'T GET ON THE ELEVATOR BEFORE THE DOORS CLOSED. IT TOOK ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE SOMEONE WAS GETTING OFF AND COULD HOLD THE DOOR FOR ME, AND SOMEONE ELSE HELD IT SO I COULD GET OFF. I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY. THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO SHOW OFF.
OK BACK TO CALIFORNIA, IT WAS COUSIN KRISTINA'S BIRTHDAY, SO THEY GOT A STRETCH HUMMER LIMO AND WE ALL WENT TO TEMECULA, TO A WINERY. THEN WE TRIED TO GO TO DINNER, BUT THE PLACE HAD CLOSED. FOR ANYONE THAT'S BEEN IN A LIMO IT'S USUALLY STOCKED WITH ALCOHOL, AND WHILE I CAN'T DISCLOSE DETAILS, WE WILL JUST SAY IT WAS A PARTY ON WHEELS! WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN! I THINK EVERY PICTURE OF ME, MY MOUTH WAS WIDE OPEN FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. WHAT FUN WE HAD! I STAYED WITH AUNT BECKY AND UNCLE FRANK AND THEY HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD GIRL THAT IS VERY CUTE, BUT MADE ME THINK OF MY GIRLS CONSTANTLY. BY SUNDAY NIGHT I WAS SO READY TO BE HOME WITH MY BABIES. IT WAS A REALLY LONG DRIVE HOME. I HAD BOUGHT LOTS OF STUFF AT THE BEACH FOR MY GIRLS AND HAD COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GET ANYTHING FOR ALBERT, BUT AT LEAST HIS AUNT MONICA GOT HIM STUFF. I WAS VERY HAPPY TO BE HOME AND DECIDED THAT IF I NEED TO GET AWAY, NEXT TIME I WILL JUST GO TO GRANDMA ANN'S SO I'M NOT SO FAR FROM THE GIRLS , AND IT'S ONLY A 5 MIN. DRIVE HOME. LIFE IS BACK TO OUR ROUTINE NOW. ME, THE GIRLS, BREAKFAST, CLEAN, LUNCH, CLEAN IT, DAD COMES HOME TO MAKE DINNER. I KNOW THEY ARE KIDS, BUT THEY ARE SO MESSY! I CAN'T EVER CATCH UP! MY POOR ALBERT ENDS UP DOING A LOT OF HOUSE WORK. THE GIRLS ARE SLOWLY LEARNING TO HELP TOO. I ALWAYS THINK OF THE SAYING THAT CLEANING HOUSE WHILE THE KIDS ARE HOME IS LIKE SHOVELING WHILE IT'S STILL SNOWING . THAT IS SO VERY TRUE . MONDAY OUR FAVORITE VISITOR IS COMING FOR 2 DAYS. IT'S GRANDMA TERESA. NOW I KNOW MY MOM LOVES ME A TON, BUT I ALSO KNOW SHE MAKES THE VERY LONG DRIVE TO SEE HER GRAND DAUGHTERS AND I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. WE GET VERY EXCITED TO HAVE HER. IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS FOR US EACH TIME. SHE REALLY IS THE BEST. I'M SO LUCKY IN A MILLION WAYS !
LOVE TO ALL, HAVE A GREAT WEEK,
GOD BLESS!