LOOK OUT I'M BACK & UNSUPPERVISED BAD GRAMMER AWAY MY PUNCTUATION WATCHER IS AT CURVES.

HI. IT'S TAMI AND NO TERESA TO DOUBLE CHECK WHAT I WRITE SO NOW YOU CAN ALL SEE HOW I'M REALLY DOING BECAUSE I WILL PROBABLY MESS UP A BIT. LILLI IS AT HER SECOND DAY OF SWIMMING LESSONS WITH HER DAD & TERESA DROPPED ME OFFAT THE LIBRARY SO SHE COULD WORK OUT.. WE JUST FINISHED THERAPY AND I AM STILL SHAKING. BUT MORE PROGRESS TODAY THANK GOOD NESS . I TOLD THEM THAT IF I STOP MAKING IMPROVEMENTS TO TELL ME SO I CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH MY DAYS. TURNS OUT WE ONLY HAVE 3 MORE VISITS BEFORE INSURANCE DECIDES I'M DONE SO I REALLY HAVE TO KICK SOME BUTT. MY OWN MOSTLY. I STILL WISH I COULD GO TO DISNEY LAND BEFORE I LOSE MY HANDY CAP STICKER. SO I CAN JUMP THE LINES BUT I WOULD SURELY LIKE TO GET BETTER FIRST INSTEAD. I STILL HAVE LITTLE FINGER NAILS TO PAINT & HAIR TO BRAID ITHINK I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT THE MOSTI WANT TO BE MOM AGAIN AND HAVE NO WORRIES ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO PUT THEIR PRINCESS DRESSES ON WITH ONE HAND . MY GIRLS WENT CAMPING AGAIN WITH THEIR DAD & I HAPPILY STAYED HOME WITH TERESA AND PLUMBING I READ A BOOK AND DID MY TAXES SO THE STROKE DIDN'T TAKE AWAY MY WILD AND CRAZY SIDE I'M STILL JUST AS BORING AS EVER THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SWEET COMMENTS BETH, LOLO GREAT GRANDMA RITA &BECKYRMAGGIE AND GIACMY SWEET BROTHER TRAVIS .DEVRON BERNIECHELSEA AND TRISTINE &CHRIS& GREAT GRANDMA ANN LOVE YOU ALL. AND MARC EVEN SENT US A TEXT TODAY TO WATCH OPRAH WOW NEVER SAW THAT COMINGI'MAM PUBLISHING THIS WITHOUT TERESA CHECKING IT OVER THE INDEPENDANCE NEVER ENDS. I AM NOTICING THAT MY FAMILY HAS SOME ODD NAMES BECAUSE THE SPELL CHECK WANTS ME TO CHANGE THEM ALL.
LOVE TO ALL AND GOD BLESS.

TAMI'S BACKMARCHSATURDAY 28-2009

HI THERE TO ALL! IT'S SATURDAY & ALBERT TOOK THE GIRLS CAMPING AGAIN WHILE I HAPPILY DECLINED THIS TIME. SO TERESA & I JUST DID MY TAXES AND HAD BREAKFAST AT VILLAGE INN. I HAD A FREE COUPON SO WE ARE IN OUR BUDGET. I AM MISSING MY BEAUTY QUEENS, BUT I ALMOST FINISHED A BOOK IN THE SILENCE . AS TERESA SAID IN THE LAST BLOG, I WAS GLAD I WENT LAST WEEK TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN GO CAMPING, BY THE SECOND DAY I WAS REALLY TIRED AND TOO EASILY IRRITATED BY ALL THE NOISE. IT WAS FUN TO BE SURROUNDED BY MY WONDERFUL FAMILY . THEY REALLY ARE THE BEST! BUT I REALLY LIKE BEING AT HOME TOO. MY GIRLS AMAZE ME ALL THE TIME. LILLI ASKED ME THE OTHER DAY ''MOM WHEN YOUR SAD HAND IS BETTER, THEN YOU DON'T NEED YOUR MOM ANYMORE? THAT IF MY HAND GETS BETTER THEN I WONT NEED MY MOM RIGHT. SO SHE HAS PICKED UP ON OUR TALKS, OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL MISS GRAMMA TERESA NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS GRANDMA WILL MISS THEM THOUGH. FOR SURE & WE KNOW WE CANT SEND GRAMMA HOME UNTIL THE SNOW MELTS IN VERNAL. BUT I AM SOOOOO READY TO BE OVER THIS MOUNTAIN IN OUR LIVES. I FIND MYSELF CHECKING OFF THE DAYS AS IF I WERE IN JAIL OR SOMETHING . I KNOW THAT EACH DAY DONE IS ONE CLOSER TO RECOVERING. THURSDAY WE HAD MY THERAPIES FOR MY HAND AND I HAD TWO NEW MOVEMENTS THAT I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD DO, SO THAT WAS VERY AWESOME FOR ME. I AM STILL SO DETERMINED, BUT I DO HAVE MY MOMENTS WHEN I START FEELING DEFEATED A LITTLE . NOTHING GOES AS FAST AS I WANT IT TO. MY GIRLS KEEP ME HAPPY AND I HAVE TO DO A LOT OF PRAYING , OR BEGGING DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. THE OTHER NIGHT I DIDN'T TAKE MY USUAL SLEEPING PILLS AND WANTED TO SEE HOW IT WOULD GO. WELL I WAS AWAKE MOST THE NIGHT PLANNING HOW TO WRITE MY STORY. HOW ANNOYING THAT WAS! SO I WAS SURE TO TAKE THE PILLS THE NEXT DAY. I FIND MYSELF TRYING TO THINK OF WAYS TO EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS ALL LIKE ,THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH. MY LIFE BEFORE WAS A HAPPY LITTLE SNOW GLOBE AND THEN A HAMMER HIT IT ON TOP AND EVERYONE TRIED TO HURRY AND COLLECT THE PIECES TO GLUE IT BACK TOGETHER. BUT WE JUST CAN'T GET IT PERFECT . IT WILL ALWAYS HAVE A CRACK IN IT NOW. THERE ISN'T A WAY TO EXPLAIN UNLESS YOU ARE IN IT & I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T WISH FOR ANYONE TO BE IN THIS. IT REALLY SUCKS DAY AFTER DAY ! THANK GOD I KNOW I CAN GET BETTER. IT'S ALL TEMPORARY. SO I KNOW I SHOULD WRITE IT ALL DOWN BECAUSE WITH LUCK AND BLOOD THINNERS I WILL BE OLD SOMEDAY AND MAYBE FORGET IT ALL. THAT COULD BE NICE. BUT I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO LEARN THIS LESSON AGAIN. ONE DAY I'M HOPING TO EVEN FIGURE OUT WHAT MY LESSON IS THIS TIME AROUND , OTHER THAN HOW TO RELEARN MY BASIC MOTOR SKILLS AND LOTS OF PATIENCE.
GOD BLESS &TAKE CARE. LOVE TAMI

Wed. March 25th

From Teresa... The stroke support group was good again this month. They're great about calling each other with encouragement and well wishes whenever needed. Two of the members were in the hospital last week and calls went out to let them know people cared. The discussion was good and helpful. This Thurs. there is a health fair and the support group has been asked to have a booth to let people know they exist. Tami and I will go over after therapies and put in a half hour or so at the booth.

Tami went camping with Albert and their girls Friday afternoon through Sunday noon. (It's the longest I've been away from Tami since Sept. 2nd.) I had a nice peaceful weekend. She was glad she tried it, but said it will be a few more weeks before she'll attempt it again. She likes her own soft bed only 10 feet from her own bathroom. Walking in the sand was like a weekend of physical therapy, and her cane sank in with every step. When her physical therapist asked her how it went, she said, " I stayed upright! So that was good!" I'm glad she tried it, and knows she can do it. Next time she'll take earplugs. She found all the noise too stimulating especially once she got tired. Anyway... you never know until you try. I played with my beads without any help from curious little hands, read my book, watched movies and got a few cleaning projects done while they were out. But surprisingly, I started missing the little munchkins after only one day! Go figure! Anyway... more later, Teresa.

Tues.March 17th

From Teresa... Tami and I came to the library again, and I decided to see if the blog site would let both of us leave a message at the same time, (since we both are using Devron's password to get on,) so far so good. Well Happy St. Patrick's Day to you all. I tried to dress the little girls alike but Lilli has a mind of her own, so we settled for matching shirts and Lilli's Levis that had green leaves on the flowers on them. Tami put on a new green Tinkerbell shirt Grandma Rita sent down and her girls noticed it right away! They loved it that momma had on "Tink".

Last Thursday at the biofeedback apt. Tami was able to make her shoulder and tricep muscles respond. The therapist said it was a great first " baseline" reading. (some people have a flat line response.) She was able to make some mountain peaks. The great thing about it is that you can't cheat. It only records when you get the correct muscle. It also lets Tami know when she does it right, because it's hard for her to feel if she's actually moving any muscles at all in the left side. It doesn't hurt, so she would love to try as long as they will let her. There is good signal in her arm still, it will just take time to reprogram her brain again. YEAH!!!! I understand there are only about 17 places around the country that have this technology available for rehab purposes. The therapist Steve is a dear,(kind, gentle, patient, knowledgeable, and encouraging). Can you tell we like him? Anyway... we can't wait for the next apt. on Thursday. He told Tami she wouldn't be tying her shoes tomorrow, but with time and hard work she could be one day.

The stroke support group is also on Thursday. A lot of the people in the group have worked with Steve and had great things to say about the biofeedback therapy.


Tami is walking straighter and has better balance after each therapy. I see improvement weekly. I try to remind her how far she has come in the last 6 months. The face wash and gel the dermatologist prescribed seems to be working. Yeah! It's hard enough to deal with physical limitations without having your face break out too! So one thing at a time, we're hanging in there the best we can. Anyway ...more later, Teresa.

HI IT'S TAMI AGAIN. I'M SHAKY BUT HERE!

WE JUST FINISHED MY THERAPIES. I DID BOTH PT AND OT & MAN I AM TIRED. THEY HAD ME ON THE TREADMILL TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I KEPT UP WITHOUT FLYING OFF THE BACK END .WHAT A SIGHT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ! THEY ONLY HAD ME GOING 1 MILE PER HOUR BUT THAT'S PROBABLY THE FASTEST I'VE MOVED SINCE MY STROKE. MY PT SCOTT STOOD BEHIND ME SO I KNEW THAT IF I KNOCKED HIM OFF I WOULD BE UP A BAD CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE OR THERAPIST. GOOD MOTIVATION TO KEEP UP. MY CUTE LITTLE FAMILY , ALBERT & GIRLS , & MY BROTHER LOGAN, WENT CAMPING THIS WEEKEND . BUT I CHICKENED OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE. I WAS TRULY HEART BROKEN THAT MY LIFE ISN'T THE WAY IT ONCE WAS I EVEN HAD A 5 MINUTE PITY PARTY WHICH I REALLY TRY NOT TO DO. I COULD NEVER WISH THIS ON ANYONE, & I KNOW I AM SO BLESSED TO KNOW THAT I CAN & WILL RECOVER. I JUST REALLY HAVE TO BE PATIENT & TRUST THAT GOD HAS AN AWESOME PLAN FOR ME. IN TIME I WILL UNDERSTAND BETTER. IT WAS PRETTY COLD & I DON'T HANDLE THAT VERY WELL. FUNNY I CAN SURVIVE A STROKE, BUT DON'T WANT TO BE COLD CAMPING. I REALLY WAS WORRIED THAT IF I FELL OR GOT HURT I WOULD BE BACKTRACKING IN MY RECOVERY AND THAT WOULD JUST PISS ME OFF TOO MUCH . WE MIGHT GIVE IT A TRY THIS COMING WEEKEND. I WILL TRY TO BE TOUGHER, AND ACTUALLY GO.

I DID MY NEW THERAPY FOR MY ARM & IT WAS NEAT FOR ME TO SEE THAT THERE IS STILL A CHANCE TO GET MY BRAIN CONNECTED AGAIN. IT WILL TAKE LOTS OF HARD WORK, BUT I AM GETTING BETTER AT THAT EVERY DAY, & I HAVE LITTLE GIRLS THAT NEED THEIR HAIR BRAIDED , SO I BETTER GET MY HAND WORKING SOON. I KNOW I TALK ABOUT MY GIRLS EVERY TIME, BUT THEY TRULY ARE MY REASON TO KEEP TRYING. MY EGO IS JUST NOT BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE THIS ALL BE FOR ME . IT'S FOR THEM. I DON'T EVEN WANT THEM TO REMEMBER WHEN MOM WAS BROKEN. THANKS TO THOSE THAT STILL THINK OF US AND KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL. I'M GOING TO START A BAD HABIT & SAY THANKS TO ANN & DEVRON FOR YOUR COMMENTS , GOD BLESS &PRETEND I''M SENDING A ONE- ARMED HUG TO YOU. I AM OUT OF HERE. TAKE CARE DO THE FUN STUFF FIRST, LIFE IS SHORT.

IT'S TAMI AGAIN HI MARCH062009

Well hello. hope you are all having a great Friday,I am . Thanks Bonnie for your comment. My little Ella woke up @ 6am which is frowned on at my house but she ended up laying with me for about an hour and letting me hold her precious little hand that is so pudgy & soft as silk and that just made my day. She is so amazing to me. She is still not too fond of me, so I cherish any time I get with her now . How did I make it so far in life without my girls ? I don't know how to get through 1 day without them now.I am so incredibly lucky to have my magnificent family!!!I ALSO GOT AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE NEW BIOFEEDBACK THERAPY FOR NEXT THURSDAY! FOR MY SLACKER HAND & I WILL BE SURE TO LET YOU ALL KNOW WHEN MY HAND IS BACK AND WORKING WONDERFULLY! GOOD BYE VELCRO SHOES I WILL BE TYING LACES AGAIN YEA ME!

I am back!

guess who. It's TAMI again. I had a great week! I got to see PAUL ,BETH & their cute kids in Mesquite & they came to our house ALSO.So much fun to see family! My beautiful aunt Dev even stopped by to let me kiss on her lovely Stellar baby that is the best because he can't run from me & I can hold him with 1 arm. I am getting so irritated with not having control of things as a woman that always tried to have everything under control @ all times Iam so completely ready for that day when I can look back & see how this all makes sense to me and why it happened & see the benefits of it all more than just having good parking spots wherever we go.. I guess it will take longer than 6 months for that day. I am not patient any more for so many things. So thanks for the prayers & please keep them coming.my newest improvements areTHE DERMATOLOGIST GAVE ME A NEW MEDICINE THAT WILL HOPEFULLY FIX MY SKIN . I WILL BE SO EXCITED WHEN IT WORKS. also we turned the wheelchair back in so we are done with that phase yippee !!I JUST GOT TO THE END AND REALIZED THE CAP LOCK WASN'T ON SO MY GRAMAR MIGHT BE MESSED UP. SO BARE WITH ME .