time flys

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE MADE A POST I THINK OF IT OFTEN, BUT RARELY FIND THE TIME TO GET ON HERE
THANKSGIVING CAME AND WENT WE HAD A LOVELY DINNER AT AUNT MONICA'S AND A SURPRISE VISITOR MY BROTHER LOGAN STOPED IN AND STAYED THROUGH THE WEEK IT WAS VERY NICE MY GIRLS JUST HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH HIM
I ALWAYS HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR SOME BIG THINGS AND LOTS OF LITTLE THINGS THAT ARE BIG TO ME
1. I CAN BATHE AND DRESS MYSELF WHICH MIGHT SEEM SMALL TO SOME INCLUDING ME AT ONE POINT, BUT WASN'T THE CASE FOR AWHILE
2. I CAN WALK AND TALK
3. I CONTINUE TO MAKE PROGRESS SMALL, BUT STILL THERE
IN ALL MY THANKS I STILL HAVE EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING MOMENTS THERE SEEMS TO BE NO AREA OF MY LIFE THAT HASN'T BEEN AFFECTED BY THAT BLASTED STROKE
I TRY TO KEEP THIS BLOG AS A REMINDER OF HOW FAR I'VE COME AND SO THAT WHEN ITS ALL A MEMORY I CAN READ THROUGH MY EXPERIENCE AND SEE LESSONS LEARNED, WHICH HAVE BEEN MANY
:DECEMBER 1ST I HAD A SURGERY TO UNFORTUNATELY STERILIZE ME A PREGNANCY COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS I KNEW THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT MADE LOGICAL SENSE, BUT IT WAS STILL EMOTIONALLY VERY HARD I ADORE MY DAUGHTERS AND BEING A MOM THE IDEA OF NEVER GETTING TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN BROKE MY HEART THE SURGERY WENT PERFECTLY DESPITE MY TROUBLESOME BLOOD
DECEMBER 10TH THE GIRLS AND I HAD THE OPRATUNATY TO TRAVEL WITH MY BROTHER TRAVIS AND HIS FAMILY TO YUMA ARIZONA FOR AN UNCLES WEDDING THE GIRS AND I STAYED AT MY UNCLE JERRY'S HOUSE WITH GRANDMA TERESA WE HAD A GREAT TIME, AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE ALL THE FAMILY AND ALSO TO SHOW MY PROGRESS
CHRISTMAS WAS SMALL, BUT GREAT MY DAUGHTERS GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE AND LOVE
NEW YEAR 2011 I LOOK FORWARD TO ANOTHER YEAR AND NEW GOALS BEFORE THIS STROKE THERE WAS NEVER A GOAL I DIDN'T REACH I PLAN TO CONTINUE IN THAT
MY ARM IS MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE I CURRENTLY HAVE MOVEMENT OF THE DELTOID BICEP AND TRICEP, NOTHING USEFUL YET, BUT PROOF THAT IT CAN BE DONE:A FEW WEEKS AGO THE THOUGHT OCURED TO ME THAT MAYBE GODS WILL IS TO HAVE ME LIVE WITH HALF A BODY,AND OH BOY THAT FREAKED ME OUT I HAVE ALWAYS HAD FAITH IN GOD,BUT I WOULD SERIOUSLY HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT PLAN I KNOW THERE IS PURPOSE TO MY CHALLENGE, BUT I DO BEG FOR MERCY IN THAT AREA I'M TOUGH, BUT I STILL FEEL YOUNG AND COULDN'T BARE TO LIVE OUT MY YEARS WITH 1 ARM/HAND
I CONTINUE TO HAVE VERY FREQUENT FLASHBACKS OF MY TIME IN I.C.U ITS CRAZY TO ME HOW MUCH I REMEMBER IT MAKES ME NUTS TO ALWAYS THINK OF IT THE MOMENT MY EYES CLOSE OR IT GETS SILENT I AM RIGHT BACK THERE IN A COMA
I USE FACE BOOK A LOT AND HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH MANY OTHER YOUNG SURVIVORS WHICH IS COMFORTING TO COMUNICATE WITH OTHERS FACING THE SAME CHALLENGES I EVEN MET A GIRL THAT HAD HER STROKE THE SAME WEEKEND, AND WE ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AGE
MY DAUGHTERS ARE MY BIGGEST HELPERS AND THE OLDER THEY GET THE MORE THEY CAN DO WITH ME I AM SOO VERY PROUD OF THEIR COMPASSION NOT JUST FOR MOM, BUT FOR ALL PEOPLE
I NOTICE THE LONGER IT TAKES ME TO GET BETTER THE LESS PATIENCE I HAVE WITH MYSELF
BUT ITS ALSO BEEN LONG ENOUGH THAT I FIND SOME OF ME FACINATING MY NEW FEARS AND REALITIES, AND HOW MY BRAIN IS HEALING DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME
I AM SO AMAZINGLY BLESSED BY THE ONES THAT EVEN AFTER 2 1/2 YEARS STILL HELP WHEN I NEED IT I STRUGLE WITH BEING DEPENDANT STILL FOR RIDES AND SUCH MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION IS TO BE DRIVING BY SEPTEMBER MY 30TH BIRTHDAY
MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST HAD ME TESTED FOR SOME NEW DEVICES THAT HELP WITH MY ARM AND WALKING THE WALKING AID DIDN'T WORK TO WELL WITH MY FOOT,BUT THE HAND DEVICE MIGHT IN THE FUTURE ITS VERY PRICEY, SO TIME WILL TELL
IN CLOSING I AM STILL MOVING FORWARD A BIT SIDEWAYS, BUT FORWARD
GOD BLESS AND LOVE TO ALL.
TRULY TAMI.