Friday, June 11, 2010

HI THERE, IT'S TAMI. HAPPY DAY!!! ALBERT JUST GOT HOME TODAY FROM ANOTHER WEEK AT WORK. I AM VERY TIRED, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY, BEING THE MAIN CAREGIVER FOR THE GIRLS IS EXHAUSTING TO ME! I HAVE LOTS OF GRATITUDE FOR IT AS WELL AS NOT LIKING IT. THE JOYS ARE THERE FOR SURE.
I HAVE A HUGE RESPECT FOR ALL THOSE TRULY SINGLE PARENTS!
AS I WAS DOING MY HAIR THIS MORNING, I WAS THANKING MY LUCKY STARS. IT IS STILL ALL TOO FRESH IN MY MEMORY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO BATHE AND DRESS MYSELF.
SO I MUST TRY TO FIND THE TASK OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF AND THE 2 GIRLS AS A FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE .
MY DAYS ARE A NEVER ENDING GAME OF CATCH-UP AND CLEAN-UP.

ALBERT'S FAMILY CONTINUES TO BE AMAZING TO ME, ALWAYS TRYING TO HELP WITH THE GIRLS, OR ANYTHING I MAY NEED.
I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE ALBERT ALWAYS OUT OF TOWN, IF I DIDN'T KNOW THE CASADOS FAMILY WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR BACK-UP.
WE WENT OUT TO DINNER, AND SAW AN ELDERLY WOMAN MISSING THE USE OF HER LEFT SIDE AS WELL. FUNNY HOW IT SEEMS THAT WE NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE... IT'S SO OBVIOUS TO US NOW, TO NOTICE, WHEREAS 3 YEARS AGO IT NEVER WOULD HAVE CROSSED OUR MIND THAT SOMEONE HAD A STROKE.
YESTERDAY I CALLED A DRIVING SCHOOL TO FIND OUT HOW TO GET MY LICENSE BACK. THE GUY DIDN'T BELIEVE MY AGE WHEN I TOLD HIM. IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH AT THE SURPRISE OF MY JOURNEY TO OTHERS. OF COURSE, I WISHED IT NEVER HAPPENED AT ANY TIME IN MY LIFESPAN, BUT I AM INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL TO HAVE THE NEXT 30 YEARS OR MORE TO RECOVER. HAD I BEEN OLD ENOUGH FOR IT TO MAKE SENSE, I MAY NOT BE HERE... I DO HATE HOW OFTEN THOUGHTS OF MY STROKE CROSS MY MIND! I WISH I COULD PUT A POP-UP-BLOCKER IN MY BRAIN FOR ANYTHING STROKE RELATED. IT TRULY IRRITATES ME TO THINK OF IT SO OFTEN! MY STROKE IS LIKE AN EVIL ENEMY TO ME, THAT I WILL GET REVENGE WITH WHEN I AM FULLY RECOVERED, AND WILL SAY" NAH NAH NAH NEENER NEENER YOU DIDN'T WIN". I HAVE MASTERED SO MUCH ALREADY! I SERIOUSLY NEED TO LEARN TO DRIVE AGAIN, AND I AM STILL WORKING ON MY LAZY LEFT ARM. IT'S NOT GOING TO BEAT ME! I GET REALLY FRUSTRATED AT THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY IT TAKES TO KEEP DOING BIO-FEEDBACK THERAPY EVERY WEEK, BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, AND TONS TO GAIN.
: CUTE THING, THE GIRLS WERE WITH ME ONE WEEK AND LILLI FOUND SOME RANDOM BEANS ON THE FLOOR AND ASKED IF THEY WERE MAGIC BEANS TO FIX MOMS SAD HAND AND MAKE IT HAPPY.
SHE BLOWS ME AWAY! WHY HADN'T WE THOUGHT OF MAGIC BEANS?
MY GIRLS ARE SO COMPLETELY MY ANGELS ON EARTH! THEY MAKE MY EVERYDAY WORTHWHILE. EVEN IF I'M GOING NUTS, AND WANT TO CRY, OR FEEL LIKE ASKING "WHY". I KNOW "WHY". THERE ARE SO MANY LESSONS LEARNED ALREADY.
I SEE EVERYDAY THE BENEFITS IN MY DAUGHTERS. THEY HAVE BECOME SO NURTURING AND COMPASSIONATE, TO ME, AND ANYONE AROUND THEM.
THEY ARE GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE WOMEN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.
GOB BLESS AND MY LOVE TO ALL.

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