SO IN MY HOUSE THE CONVERSATION OFTEN GOES STRAIGHT TO HOW I'M PROGRESSING OR HOW SOME THINK I SHOULD BE RECOVERING WHAT SHOULD I BE ABLE TO DO OR NOT DO AFTER YET ANOTHER LONG DEBATE OF THIS SAME OLD SAME OLD
SO I'M READY FOR A COACH THE KIND YOU SEE IN BOOT CAMP WITH A CLIPBOARD THAT SAYS OKAY TAMI NICE WORK OR THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TRY HARDER
I WISH THAT THEY ASSIGNED A PROGRESS COACH TO ME AT THE TIME I CAME HOME TO KEEP ME ON TRACK AND FOCUSSED, THE MORE TIME THAT PASSES MY MOTIVATION DRIFTS AWAY, AND FRUSTRATION GETS IN THE WAY: LOGICALLY I KNOW ITS THE WRONG PATH TO TAKE, AND EVEN AFTER 2 YEARS I'M STILL TRYING TO PROCESS ALL THAT HAS REALLY TAKEN PLACE
SO BASICALLY I WANT A REFEREE TO KEEP ME ON TRACK AND A COACH TO KICK MY ASS AND KEEP ME MOTIVATED FOR MY 25 YEARS I WOULD PICK A GOAL AND ACHIEVE IT NO QUESTIONS ASKED, AND NOW I SECOND GUESS EVERY THING I DON'T TRUST MY DECISION MAKING AND I'M JUST PLAIN SCARED OF MY BODY I'M A GROWN WOMAN YET HAVE SUCH DOUBT, IN MY DIRECTION HOW FORIEGN TO A WOMAN THAT WAS EXTREMELY SELF CONFIDANT AND HEAD STRONG
LIFE IS ODD
JUST MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS WEEK
GOD BLESS
TRULY TAMI
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1 comment:
Oh, Tami, I wish I lived closer! I'd try and be a coach of sorts for you, as I truly understand what you are saying. Do you keep a journal? Besides, this blog, I mean; a private self-talk tool, which this particular post of yours sounds like. I have to "give myself a talking-to" from time to time, and writing it down seems to help. I wish you well!
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