I HAVE BEEN DOING BIO-FEED-BACK TREATMENT ON MY LEFT ARM FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FOREVER, BUT REALLY ONE AND A HAL YEARS THE PROGRESS IS PAINFULLY SLOW, AND DIFFICULT
MY MOST RECENT CHALLENGE HAS BEEN TRYING TO OPEN AND SHUT MY HAND THE MORE MUSCLES THAT ACTUALLY WORK THE LESS TENSE MY ARM IS
MY ELLA HAS NOTICED SHE SAW MY HAND LAYING OPEN ONE DAY, SO SHE STUCK HER FINGERS IN, AND I WANTED TO SHOW OFF SO I TIGHTENED MY HAND SHUT ON HER ITS EASIER TO SHUT MY HAND THAN OPEN IT SHE SPOKE WITH EXCITEMENT" MOM YOUR HAND IS GETTING HAPPY" THE GIRLS CALL IT MY SAD HAND THEY SAY MY WHOLE LEFT SIDE IS VERY SAD, AND IT IS
FOR ME TO SEE HER SO EXCITED FOR ME WAS VERY REWARDING THEY TRULY NOTICE ALL MY LITTLE IMPROVEMENTS
AND NOW I AM ABLE TO PULL MY FINGERS OPEN, AND HAVE THEM PUT STUFF IN IT FOR ME TO HOLD ONTO ITS NOT USEFUL, BUT IT IS VERY NEAT TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT.
PRACTICE PRACTICE MOM.
I HAVE BEEN GOING TO THERAPY EVERY OTHER WEEK TO SAVE ON COST, BUT WE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO MY SHOULDER LAST WEEK JUST TO DOUBLE CHECK THE MUSCLE STRENGTH FROM BEFORE, AND SURE ENOUGH IT WAS JUST FINE.
I JOKE THAT ONCE MY HAND DOES WORK I'M JUST GOING TO WAVE AT EVERONE, AND I REALLY WILL EVEN IF I LOOK SILLY I WILL BE SO EXCITED TO SHOW MY PROGRESS, LIKE A BABY LEARNING TO WAVE
I KNOW MY GIRLS WON'T MIND.
GOD BLESS
TRULY TAMI.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
MY GRAND CANYON
I THOUGHT I SHOULD WRITE THIS STORY WHILE ITS FRESH IN MY HEAD
MY ARM THERAPY MOVED TO A NEW BUILDING, WHICH HAS A GLASS ELEVATOR, AND YESTERDAY WE JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE OUR STROKE SUPPORT MEETING UPSTAIRS FOR THE FIRST TIME GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR AT FLOOR LEVEL WAS JUST AS HARD AS IS ANY ELEVATOR FOR ME,
BUT TO EXIT THE ELEVATOR ON THE SECOND FLOOR WAS QUITE DIFFICULT SINCE I COULD SEE DOWN,IN ALL IT WAS ALMOST 5 MINUTES JUST TO STEP OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE MEETING MY STOMACHE WAS TURNING KNOWING I WOULD HAVE TO GO DOWN AGAIN, MY GRANDMA ANN WAS WITH ME AND SO VERY PATIENT SO SHE WAS HOLDING MY HAND TO GET ON WHILE 2 ELDERLY WOMEN WITH WALKERS WAITED BEHIND ME SEEING IF THEY COULD HELP, WELL THE DOOR STARTED TO CLOSE ON ANN ALL THE WHILE I AM FROZEN WITH FEAR AND SHAKING WITH ANXIETY
ANYONE WOULD THINK I WAS STEPPING OVER THE GRAND CANYON, NOT ONTO AN ELEVATOR 1 FLOOR UP ONCE I GOT ON I HAD TO CONCENTRATE ON NOT LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW OR CRYING OVER MY EMBARASSMENT SERIOUSLY IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT TO PANIC OVER SUCH THINGS
ONCE I GOT OFF I WAS SHAKINGSO MUCH YOU'D THINK I JUST FOUGHT A SHARK, MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDMA SAYS" LETS DO IT AGAIN" TO CONQUER THE FEAR I THOUGHT I MIGHT PUKE
"NOT TODAY" I SAID THEN OFF TO THERAPY, MY P.T. STEVE IS SO KIND AND TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT MY BRAIN TROUBLES, AS WE WERE LEAVING MY GRANDMA SAYS SHE WANTS ME TO TRY THE ELEVATOR 10 TIMES TILL I'M OVER IT WHICH MAKES PERFECT SENSE, BUT I'LL HAVE TO WAIT TILL MY TRAUMA FADES I KNOW THERE WILL BE A DAY THAT I WON'T CRY OVER AN ELEVATOR OR HEIGHTS BUT FOR NOW I DID COME HOME AND CRY IT MAKES ME SCREAM INSIDE I'VE GOT TO BE TOUGHER THAN THAT. A WHOLE ENTRY ABOUT FEAR
IN THE MEEN TIME I HAVE BEEN WALKING THE GIRLS TO A NEW SPANISH PRESCHOOL THEY LOVE IT AND I'M HAVING FUN WATCHING THEM AND WE ALL LEARN SPANISH IT'S JUST WONDERFUL.
MY ARM THERAPY MOVED TO A NEW BUILDING, WHICH HAS A GLASS ELEVATOR, AND YESTERDAY WE JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE OUR STROKE SUPPORT MEETING UPSTAIRS FOR THE FIRST TIME GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR AT FLOOR LEVEL WAS JUST AS HARD AS IS ANY ELEVATOR FOR ME,
BUT TO EXIT THE ELEVATOR ON THE SECOND FLOOR WAS QUITE DIFFICULT SINCE I COULD SEE DOWN,IN ALL IT WAS ALMOST 5 MINUTES JUST TO STEP OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE MEETING MY STOMACHE WAS TURNING KNOWING I WOULD HAVE TO GO DOWN AGAIN, MY GRANDMA ANN WAS WITH ME AND SO VERY PATIENT SO SHE WAS HOLDING MY HAND TO GET ON WHILE 2 ELDERLY WOMEN WITH WALKERS WAITED BEHIND ME SEEING IF THEY COULD HELP, WELL THE DOOR STARTED TO CLOSE ON ANN ALL THE WHILE I AM FROZEN WITH FEAR AND SHAKING WITH ANXIETY
ANYONE WOULD THINK I WAS STEPPING OVER THE GRAND CANYON, NOT ONTO AN ELEVATOR 1 FLOOR UP ONCE I GOT ON I HAD TO CONCENTRATE ON NOT LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW OR CRYING OVER MY EMBARASSMENT SERIOUSLY IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT TO PANIC OVER SUCH THINGS
ONCE I GOT OFF I WAS SHAKINGSO MUCH YOU'D THINK I JUST FOUGHT A SHARK, MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDMA SAYS" LETS DO IT AGAIN" TO CONQUER THE FEAR I THOUGHT I MIGHT PUKE
"NOT TODAY" I SAID THEN OFF TO THERAPY, MY P.T. STEVE IS SO KIND AND TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT MY BRAIN TROUBLES, AS WE WERE LEAVING MY GRANDMA SAYS SHE WANTS ME TO TRY THE ELEVATOR 10 TIMES TILL I'M OVER IT WHICH MAKES PERFECT SENSE, BUT I'LL HAVE TO WAIT TILL MY TRAUMA FADES I KNOW THERE WILL BE A DAY THAT I WON'T CRY OVER AN ELEVATOR OR HEIGHTS BUT FOR NOW I DID COME HOME AND CRY IT MAKES ME SCREAM INSIDE I'VE GOT TO BE TOUGHER THAN THAT. A WHOLE ENTRY ABOUT FEAR
IN THE MEEN TIME I HAVE BEEN WALKING THE GIRLS TO A NEW SPANISH PRESCHOOL THEY LOVE IT AND I'M HAVING FUN WATCHING THEM AND WE ALL LEARN SPANISH IT'S JUST WONDERFUL.
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