FATHER'S DAY WEEKEND.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU DADS OUT THERE!
ALBERT WANTED TO GO CAMPING IN PINE VALLEY, SO WE DROVE OUT THERE FRIDAY NIGHT. IT WAS JUST DAD, ELLA, AND I. LILLI IS IN CALIFORNIA WITH HER AUNTIE MONICA.
FIRST NIGHT IN THE NEWEST CAMPER. IT'S A POP-UP WITH 2 QUEEN BEDS, ONE SIDE FOR MOM & DAD, ONE FOR THE KIDS.
BRRRRR SO COLD !!! THE FIRST NIGHT WAS SO COLD AND UNCOMFORTABLE, THAT BY SATURDAY AFTERNOON I WAS FANTASIZING ABOUT GOING HOME AFTER DINNER, AND NOT REALLY STAYING ANOTHER NIGHT. NO LUCK! I OFFERED TO PAY ALBERT TO TAKE ME HOME! BUT SATURDAY NIGHT HE ADDED A SECOND PAD ONTO MY BED AND I DOUBLE LAYERED MY PAJAMAS AND MADE IT THROUGH ONE MORE NIGHT. WE PACKED UP EARLY MORNING AND WERE HOME AND SHOWERED BY NOON SUNDAY. NOTHING BETTER THAN A HOT SHOWER AFTER 2 DIRTY DAYS! I AM STILL TIRED, BUT GLAD I CAN SAY I WENT. I WON'T BE GOING NEXT TIME. IT'S SO MUCH WORK TO BRING COMFORTS TO THE OUTDOORS WHEN I COULD JUST STAY HOME AND LET ALBERT GO.
EVER TRY HIKING WITH A CANE? TRUE, MOST MIGHT USE A STICK FOR EXTRA BALANCE, BUT WHEN YOU LACK BALANCE NORMALLY, A CANE JUST DOESN'T HELP MUCH.
THANKS, BUT " NO THANKS" FOR ANOTHER TRIP.
WHEN WE WERE HOME, I GOT TO HAVE DEVRON AND NEW BABY HUTCH VISIT. DEVRON HAD TO CHANGE HIS DIAPER AND ELLA WAS RIGHT THERE. I WAS CURIOUS TO SEE HER REACTION, BEING THAT WE HAVE ONLY HAD GIRL DIAPERS IN OUR HOUSE. " MOM HE HAS A CRAYON IN HIS DIAPER!" OH HOW FUNNY!!! DEVRON AND I JUST LAUGHED! I WILL HAVE TO WRITE THAT ONE DOWN.
LILLI IS HAVING A BLAST IN CALIFORNIA WITH HER COUSINS. HER AUNT JUST HAD TWINS, A BOY AND GIRL, AND LILLI TOLD ME THIS MORNING, THAT SHE HELD THE "PINK" BABY. WE MISS LILLI, BUT KNOW SHE IS HAPPY, AND IN GOOD HANDS. BUT IT IS A 10 DAY TRIP! THAT'S A LONG TIME TO HAVE HER GONE.
GOD BLESS TO ALL;
TAKE CARE, LOVE TAMI AND FAMILY.

Note from Grandma Ann

YEAY!!! Tami, I'm thrilled you are back on the blog! You are a delightful writer and these postings will mean so much to you and your family as well as all of us who get a peak into your wonderful sense of humor and your determination. LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! I'm glad your doctor is thorough and aggressive in your care. Since you still have the headache I am comforted to know she will follow-up. Love you and your family!!!!

OH FUN.....?

SO, MONDAY MORNING WE SENT ALBERT OFF TO WORK FOR THE WEEK. I WOKE WITH A HEADACHE, WHICH IS A DAILY OCCURRENCE. BUT THEN I STARTED TO NOTICE IT WAS HURTING IN ODD WAVES OF PAIN, AND ONLY ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY HEAD. IT WAS A WEIRD SORT OF FEELING, LIKE LIGHTNING BOLTS EVERY 30 SECONDS OR SO. SO I DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO, ASK MY MOM WHAT SHE THINKS. SHE SUGGESTS TO CALL MY NEUROLOGIST. I AGREED, SO I CALLED AND LEFT A MESSAGE. THEN I NOTICED THAT I KEPT FEELING LIKE I WAS SPINNING. MY DOCTOR CALLED BACK AND SAID SHE WANTED A CAT-SCAN RIGHT AWAY, AND TO GO TO THE E.R.. I HATED THIS ANSWER! I KNEW IT WASN'T AN EMERGENCY, AND SINCE I HAD BOTH GIRLS WITH ME, THE LAST THING I WANTED, WAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL! SO I CALLED MY AUNT PATTY AND EXPLAINED. SHE CAME RIGHT OVER AND GOT US.
SO I GET TO THE E.R. AND EXPLAIN THAT MY DOCTOR SENT ME. HER CONCERN OF COURSE IS MY PAST STROKE, BUT SINCE I'M ALSO ON BLOOD THINNERS, SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT A HEMORRHAGE. I ON THE OTHER HAND, REMEMBER ALL TOO WELL THE SHEER AMOUNT OF PAIN FROM MY STROKE, AND I KNOW THAT I AM JUST FINE!
I KEPT THINKING " AT LEAST A CAT-SCAN DOESN'T HURT, THEY JUST PUT YOUR HEAD IN A HOLE, ( IT REMINDS ME OF A COTTON-CANDY MACHINE), THEN YOU'RE DONE."
BUT AT THE E.R., THEY AUTOMATICALLY DO THE WHOLE EMERGENCY BIT, PUT IN AN I.V. AND DRAIN YOU OF SOME BLOOD. THE STAFF IS SURE I MUST BE THERE FOR ANOTHER STROKE, DUE TO MY MEDICAL HISTORY. THEY EVEN ASKED IF MY ARM WOULDN'T MOVE BECAUSE OF THIS HEADACHE. I HAD TO LAUGH, AND SAY " NO THAT'S FROM BEFORE, AND YOU ARE PROBABLY WASTING YOUR TIME, I'M FINE. MY DOCS JUST BEING CAUTIOUS."
SO THEY DO THE SCAN, AND THE TECH CAME OVER TO ME WITH AN ODD LOOK ON HIS FACE, SO I SAID," DID YOU GET THE PICTURE OF MY BRAIN?" HE SAID " YES", AND I ASKED "HOW DOES IT LOOK WITH THAT MISSING PIECE?" HE LET OUT A BREATH AND SAID," WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" SO I TOLD HIM THAT THEY HAD REMOVED SOME FROM MY STROKE. HE SAID " OH, THERE WAS A BIG BLACK SPOT. I SHOULD PROBABLY TELL THE DOC. SO HE DOESN'T WONDER WHAT IT IS. " OH THAT MADE ME LAUGH! I WISH I COULD SEE THE DOCTORS FACES, IF THEY WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN....?
I COULDN'T HELP BUT EXPLAIN IT LIKE LILLI DOES." MOMS BRAIN BROKE, AND THEY SEWED IT BACK TOGETHER." AFTER AWHILE THE DOCTOR CAME IN TO ASK ABOUT MY MEDS. AND HEALTH IN GENERAL. THEN HE WENT TO GET THE RESULTS. HE CAME BACK AND SAID EVERY THING LOOKS FINE, THEN CORRECTED HIMSELF TO SAY EVERY THING LOOKED THE SAME AS BEFORE, SINCE WE BOTH KNEW NOTHING ABOUT MY BRAIN IS FINE ANY MORE. THEY UNHOOKED ME AND LET ME GO HOME.
SO GOOD NEWS... I AM FINE AND I KNOW MY DOCTOR IS LOOKING OUT FOR ME.
GOD BLESS ALL.

MY GREATEST ADVENTURE OF 2010

IN MY HASTE TO UPDATE TO MUCH INFO AT ONE TIME, I LEFT OUT
MY GREATEST ADVENTURE OF 2010

IN APRIL I GOT TO GO TO SALT LAKE AND BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.
THIS WAS HUGE FOR ME, TO BE ABLE TO WALK INTO THE I.C.U. AND THANK THE NURSES, AND TO MY SURPRISE THEY REMEMBERED ME, AND WERE SO HAPPY! I WAS ALSO ABLE TO GO TO THE REHAB FLOOR AND SEE 2 OUT OF 4 THERAPIST . THEY EVEN RECOGNISED ME, WHICH I NEVER EXPECTED, SINCE I DON'T LOOK A BIT LIKE I DID WHILE IN REHAB LOCK-DOWN.
OF COURSE I HAVE HAIR NOW, AND ADDED MY 20 POUNDS BACK ON THAT I HAD LOST DURING MY STAY. ONE OF MY P.T'S JUST SAID I LOOKED HEALTHY. I COULD TELL SHE DIDN'T WANT TO COME RIGHT OUT WITH " OHH! YOU GAINED WEIGHT", BUT I KNOW THAT'S WHAT SHE MEANT, AND I WORKED VERY HARD WITH LOTS OF ICE-CREAM, TO GET MY FIGURE BACK. SO I LIKE THAT I GAINED WEIGHT. I'M NOT LIKE OTHER WOMEN. I WAS DESPERATE TO PUT SOME MEAT ON !
I WAS IN SALT LAKE TO GO TO A CONCERT " DAUGHTRY " WHICH WAS WONDERFUL, BUT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WAS BY FAR THE BEST PART OF MY 4 DAYS IN SALT LAKE!
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LEARNING HOW TO WALK AGAIN, AND A GIRL CAME IN TO SAY HI, AND MY THERAPIST SAID SHE HAD HAD THE SAME HEAD SURGERY, AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS," I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THAT NORMAL LOOKING GIRL THAT COULD COME AND GO AT FREE WILL" AND YOU COULDN'T SEE HER SCAR THROUGH HER HAIR. OH IT BRINGS PURE JOY TO MY HEART TO BE THAT GIRL NOW!

HI THERE, IT'S TAMI. HAPPY DAY!!! ALBERT JUST GOT HOME TODAY FROM ANOTHER WEEK AT WORK. I AM VERY TIRED, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY, BEING THE MAIN CAREGIVER FOR THE GIRLS IS EXHAUSTING TO ME! I HAVE LOTS OF GRATITUDE FOR IT AS WELL AS NOT LIKING IT. THE JOYS ARE THERE FOR SURE.
I HAVE A HUGE RESPECT FOR ALL THOSE TRULY SINGLE PARENTS!
AS I WAS DOING MY HAIR THIS MORNING, I WAS THANKING MY LUCKY STARS. IT IS STILL ALL TOO FRESH IN MY MEMORY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO BATHE AND DRESS MYSELF.
SO I MUST TRY TO FIND THE TASK OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF AND THE 2 GIRLS AS A FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE .
MY DAYS ARE A NEVER ENDING GAME OF CATCH-UP AND CLEAN-UP.

ALBERT'S FAMILY CONTINUES TO BE AMAZING TO ME, ALWAYS TRYING TO HELP WITH THE GIRLS, OR ANYTHING I MAY NEED.
I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE ALBERT ALWAYS OUT OF TOWN, IF I DIDN'T KNOW THE CASADOS FAMILY WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR BACK-UP.
WE WENT OUT TO DINNER, AND SAW AN ELDERLY WOMAN MISSING THE USE OF HER LEFT SIDE AS WELL. FUNNY HOW IT SEEMS THAT WE NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE... IT'S SO OBVIOUS TO US NOW, TO NOTICE, WHEREAS 3 YEARS AGO IT NEVER WOULD HAVE CROSSED OUR MIND THAT SOMEONE HAD A STROKE.
YESTERDAY I CALLED A DRIVING SCHOOL TO FIND OUT HOW TO GET MY LICENSE BACK. THE GUY DIDN'T BELIEVE MY AGE WHEN I TOLD HIM. IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH AT THE SURPRISE OF MY JOURNEY TO OTHERS. OF COURSE, I WISHED IT NEVER HAPPENED AT ANY TIME IN MY LIFESPAN, BUT I AM INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL TO HAVE THE NEXT 30 YEARS OR MORE TO RECOVER. HAD I BEEN OLD ENOUGH FOR IT TO MAKE SENSE, I MAY NOT BE HERE... I DO HATE HOW OFTEN THOUGHTS OF MY STROKE CROSS MY MIND! I WISH I COULD PUT A POP-UP-BLOCKER IN MY BRAIN FOR ANYTHING STROKE RELATED. IT TRULY IRRITATES ME TO THINK OF IT SO OFTEN! MY STROKE IS LIKE AN EVIL ENEMY TO ME, THAT I WILL GET REVENGE WITH WHEN I AM FULLY RECOVERED, AND WILL SAY" NAH NAH NAH NEENER NEENER YOU DIDN'T WIN". I HAVE MASTERED SO MUCH ALREADY! I SERIOUSLY NEED TO LEARN TO DRIVE AGAIN, AND I AM STILL WORKING ON MY LAZY LEFT ARM. IT'S NOT GOING TO BEAT ME! I GET REALLY FRUSTRATED AT THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY IT TAKES TO KEEP DOING BIO-FEEDBACK THERAPY EVERY WEEK, BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, AND TONS TO GAIN.
: CUTE THING, THE GIRLS WERE WITH ME ONE WEEK AND LILLI FOUND SOME RANDOM BEANS ON THE FLOOR AND ASKED IF THEY WERE MAGIC BEANS TO FIX MOMS SAD HAND AND MAKE IT HAPPY.
SHE BLOWS ME AWAY! WHY HADN'T WE THOUGHT OF MAGIC BEANS?
MY GIRLS ARE SO COMPLETELY MY ANGELS ON EARTH! THEY MAKE MY EVERYDAY WORTHWHILE. EVEN IF I'M GOING NUTS, AND WANT TO CRY, OR FEEL LIKE ASKING "WHY". I KNOW "WHY". THERE ARE SO MANY LESSONS LEARNED ALREADY.
I SEE EVERYDAY THE BENEFITS IN MY DAUGHTERS. THEY HAVE BECOME SO NURTURING AND COMPASSIONATE, TO ME, AND ANYONE AROUND THEM.
THEY ARE GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE WOMEN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.
GOB BLESS AND MY LOVE TO ALL.

tami here...using Grandma's sign in......

HI ALL, IT'S TAMI.So my computer contracted about 700 viruses and now refuses to let me blog. I'm borrowing my grandma's computer and wondering how best to sum up the last 6 months. I have had some big accomplishments and some small ones.
So lets start with FEBRUARY...
Albert had to go work in San Diego for that whole month, which of course left me alone with my girls. A first since my brain broke. I knew we would be fine, but that it would also be VERY hard for me. You know I just love challenges, or better YET, they love me!
I had lots of family looking out for us, making sure I had rides when needed. I wanted to make it as fun for the girls as I could. Our FIRST BIG adventure was deciding to walk to Wendy's for dinner one night. It's just 2 blocks away. I debated with myself for at least 30 minutes whether it was something I was ready for or not. I prepared the girls to go and Lilli said, "mom are you sure this is a good idea?" She has seen mom walk and had reason to doubt. I explained the rules, that they were to hold hands and do EXACTLY as mom says. I had them walk as far away from the road as possible When we made it, we were so tired and happy! Lilli had explained that she was worried mom would fall, so I let her know it's mom's job to protect her, not the other way. Even my tiny Ella opened the big door for mom. They were ecstatic to be there and get frosty's. It was a huge deal for all 3 of us to have accomplished that journey by ourselves! I continuously struggle with the balance of keeping myself safe while keeping the girls safe as well. It makes me sad if they miss out on anything because of moms " ouchy".
February was also filled with much stress and exhaustion for me. It was hard physically and mentally to be a single parent for a month. Much respect to those that do it full time.

MARCH by far easier with Albert home, but he still hadn't found a job in town, which meant he would have to return to California, an idea I hated.

MAY THE GIRLS GRADUATED PRE-SCHOOL TOGETHER. That was soo cute to see! I was sad, since they had so much fun learning and playing, and it was my only quiet time, and when I would plan doctor appointment's.
Albert found a part-time crap job until May, when he planned on returning to his home town, but as life has it, that didn't work either. So he scrambled and found 1 job that would take him to work in Price Utah, which brings me back to current time.

JUNE so far Albert has worked out of town 2 weeks, but we are used to it now, and it's not that bad. We get bored, and watch a lot of Barbie. I had a friend introduce me to face book, which has been fun to do when I'm sick of barbie.

WITH LUCK, I WILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE REGULARLY NOW, and won't try to cram it all in at once .
I have been sad by not being able to update this. As time went on this has been a great way to track my continued progress and remind me of what to be grateful for/of .
I hope some of this made sense it's a lot jumbled together and I know I left a lot out.
GOD BLESS ALL

note from Grandma Ann

Tami has had trouble with her blog from her computer. . .I am very sorry about that, because this was an amazing anthology for her family.

She is doing well and she Facebooks, so maybe that will keep her in touch. . .

I just wanted to put something here to see if the problem was the 'blog' or just her computer. . .

Love to all. . .

Tami here.

I haven't made an entry for awhile even though I have had reason to. For some reason I had trouble getting logged on. Our routine is the same. My big joy has been my huge improvement in bio-feedback. I got my brain to connect with my triceps muscle last week, and was overjoyed with it!
Then this week I surpassed my previous goal by over 200 percent! I'm feeling quite proud the last few weeks, mostly since the New Year. I can feel a huge smile inside at the thought of how much improvement I will make in the coming year! I truly am so excited for more opportunity to grow! I plan on getting used to this slow body just in time to get rid of it, and have all my strength back, and be in control again! The last 2 years have been terribly hard, but it's just up from here. I will only get better! One day I really hope to get back to SLC to thank the hospital for all they did, but I will wait till the snow is over.
My girls continue to be my everything! They got a pink 4-wheeler for Christmas, and it has been so cute watching them practice. Lilli is very cautious, Ella is all about the speed. It has a remote kill switch. I use it when Ella is cruising to fast.
I never finished my entry from when Teresa was here making my life so organized and wonderful. The housework gets so overwhelming to me. In about 4 days she did what would take me months, and we still had time to go to the movies a few times. I love going to the movies, because it is one activity that I do just as good as I used to. Most things I can't help but think how it was before the stroke, but the movies are the same.
GOD BLESS
love Tami and girls

Special Note from Tami's Physical Therapist 1-13-10

My name is Steven Bennett and I am Tami's physical therapist. I just wanted to write and let all of her fan club know how utterly incredible she is from the medical perspective (like you didn't already realize that). Tami, with the severity of her injury, should not really even be alive. Most people with her type of injury either die or end up as a permanant resident in a facility. The people that actually live, however, have only a short life span.

Tami has amazing determination and never gives up. Her progress has been slow but steady. Most people wouldn't have the guts or determination to stick to it with such slow progress on the arm. She has gone from no movement on her arm to being able to easily lift it...which has already defied the odds. She is not supposed to be moving her arm at all.

I think her family and friends are also a big part of why she has come so far. I feel Tami has been left on the earth because she still has things to do and people to help and infuence for good...especially her two little princesses and husband.

It has been a pleasure to work with Tami and be inspired by her dogged will power to improve. What an amazing person!

Tami here .first for 2010

WELCOME TO THE NEW YEAR ! My fabulous mom has been here since the day after Christmas. She has given me the best New Years gift. She has spent her week with us sorting through my house, cleaning out old stuff, and organizing everything. She is amazing! What a yucky task, and she volunteers to do it, and stays happy about it. My girls are loved and spoiled by so many! They had more clothes and toys than we could fit into their room. Each time I would want to sort through it all, it was so overwhelming, I never knew where to start. Of course they got even more for Christmas. She sorted and cleaned all of their room and my own. We went through my closet to get rid of all the stuff I don't fit in, or just don't wear, which was a ton. My body is so different from what it was before, and it takes a lot of effort to get myself in certain clothes. There is a science to getting dressed with one hand. It is really quite complex, so I choose certain clothes to wear based on that. I am much smaller than I was before, so of course after I got rid of so much, I went out and bought myself 3 new shirts, so I can feel a little cute if I want to. I told Teresa that I am So glad I don't HAVE to NEED her but I sure do appreciate her help for so many things .

Our Adorable Family!

My angels and I our first proffesional photo together.

OUR CHRISTMAS WEEK

TODAY IS SUNDAY, AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS WITH OUR LITTLE FAMILY, AND EXTENDED FAMILY. THANKS TO ALBERTS CHILDLIKE HEART, OUR GIRLS HAD A VERY BIG DAY. SANTA BROUGHT THEM A PINK FOUR WHEELER TO SHARE. ALBERT IS MORE EXCITED ABOUT IT THAN THE GIRLS, BECAUSE NOW THEY GET TO GO RIDING WITH HIM. THEY ALSO GOT HELMETS, OF COURSE, FOR ANYONE THAT IS AS CONCERNED AS I AM. I AM LIKE MOST MOMS, AND VERY PROTECTIVE OF MY BABIES. I SWORE THAT THE FIRST TIME THEY GET HURT, IS THE LAST TIME THEY RIDE IT.
WEDNESDAY I WAS NOT FEELING WELL. I HAD MAJOR PAIN IN MY STOMACH. NOW I KNOW PAIN, AND CAN HANDLE IT MOST OF THE TIME. ALBERT CAME HOME FROM WORK, AND I HAD TOLD HIM HOW I FELT, WELL HE IS QUITE JUMPY ABOUT MY HEALTH NOW DAYS, SO I THINK HE OVER REACTED.HE THREATENED TO CALL MY AUNT PATTY TO COME TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL, OR I HAD TO LET HIM TAKE ME. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF ARGUING, WITH ME TELLING HIM I WAS FINE, AND HIM TELLING ME I WASN'T. HE CALLED HIS COUSIN RYAN OVER TO WATCH THE GIRLS AND HE TOOK ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. HIS REASONING WAS, THAT WHEN I WAS HAVING THE STROKE I KEPT SAYING I COULDN'T MOVE MY LEFT SIDE BECAUSE I MUST HAVE A PINCHED NERVE, AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT WENT. SO I SURRENDERED AND LET HIM TAKE ME. I REALLY WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN AND COULD TELL SOMETHING WAS WRONG, BUT THE NEED FOR DOCTORS IS ALWAYS MY LAST RESORT. HE MADE ME GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND EXPLAIN WHAT I FELT. THE DOCTORS CAME IN TO DO WHAT THEY DO, AND POKE ME WHERE IT REALLY HURT, MY LOWER RIGHT ABDOMEN. THEY HOOKED UP THE USUAL TUBES AND JUNK. THE DOCTOR THOUGHT THE SYMPTOMS WERE WITH MY APPENDIX. HE STARTED TO MENTION A SURGEON, AND SO I TRIED TO TUNE HIM OUT.( 2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, I DON'T THINK SO FOLKS!) SO THEY HAD ME DRINK THE EVER PLEASANT BARIUM. FOR ANYONE THAT'S HAD THAT,YOU KNOW THAT IS PURE TORTURE! AFTER AN HOUR OF THAT SOAKING IN MY STOMACH, WE WENT FOR A CAT SCAN AND THEN WAITED AN HOUR FOR THE RESULTS. THE DOC CAME BACK TO TELL ME IT WAS NOT MY APPENDIX. IT WAS JUST A GOLF BALL SIZED CYST ON MY OVARY, AND A BLADDER INFECTION. I WAS SO RELIEVED! NOW THAT, I CAN LIVE WITH! THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE ANYTHING OUT, AND I COULD GO HOME! WE HAD BEEN THERE 7 HOURS! WHAT A PAIN! I WAS SO HUNGRY AND TIRED. SO YES, SOMETHING WAS WRONG, BUT NO BIG DEAL. THEY ARE JUST GOING TO KEEP AN EYE ON ME AND MAKE SURE IT DISSOLVES ON IT'S OWN. THE GIRLS SPENT THE NIGHT AT AUNT MONICA'S. WE DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY THEM, SO WE HAD TOLD THEM THAT DAD WAS TAKING MOM TO THE STORE.
THURSDAY I WAS VERY SORE AND TIRED, BUT HAPPY TO BE HOME. I CHOSE NOT TO GO TO CHURCH THAT NIGHT, WHICH MADE ME SAD, BUT I KNEW MY BODY NEEDED REST.

FRIDAY WAS GREAT, LILLI CAME IN MY ROOM AND VERY SERIOUSLY SAID,"SANTA DIDN'T COME", SO I ASKED HER HOW SHE KNEW THIS AND SHE REPLIED, "I DIDN'T HEAR HIM." SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO CRY. I SAID,"GO CHECK YOUR STOCKING," THEN I HEARD HER YELL "OKAY MAYBE HE DID." THEN ELLA CAME OUT AND RAN TO SEE, SHE SQUEALED " WOW! I MUST BE HAPPY!" THEY EACH GOT BARBIES AND THE USUAL SOCKS AND UNDIES, OF COURSE THESE WERE BARELY NOTICED, NEXT TO THE FUN STUFF AND CANDY. THEY WERE SO CUTE, AND HAPPY. AFTER THE EXCITEMENT DIED DOWN, I WENT TO TAKE A NAP. WE WERE GOING TO AUNT MONICA'S FOR MORE FUN, AND I WANTED TO REST FIRST. WE SPENT THE DAY AT MONICAS. THEY TOOK THEIR MOTORCYCLE TO SHOW. THEY ATE ALL THE COOKIES THEY COULD SMUGGLE BEFORE GETTING NOTICED.
IT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY, BUT I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SATURDAY FOR MY FAVORITE VISITOR TO COME, THE FABULOUS GRANDMA TERESA, A.K.A MY MOM. SHE DROVE DOWN THAT NIGHT, AND DURING THE DAY ALBERT TOOK THE GIRLS FOR A DAY OF RIDING 4 WHEELERS. HE VIDEO TAPED IT, SO I CAN SEE ALL THE ACTION. HE SAID THAT LILLI DID GREAT DRIVING IT, AND IF I GET BRAVE ENOUGH IT'S EVEN BIG ENOUGH FOR ME TO DRIVE. WHO KNOWS, I MIGHT GO TO THE STORE WITH IT SOMEDAY. IT HAS A BIG FLAG ON IT WITH PINK SKELETONS. IT IS COOLER THAN A JAZZY CHAIR FOR SURE!
THEN THEY WENT TO GRANDMA TONI'S AND SPENT THE NIGHT, SO NOW I MISS THEM, AND THEY ARE ON THE WAY HOME, SO I BETTER FINISH THIS UP.
THAT WAS OUR VERY EVENTFUL WEEK.
I WILL BE SENDING NEW YEAR'S CARDS OUT TO MOST,BUT IF YOU KNOW MY MOM'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW THAT IT IS HUGE! I DIDN'T BUDGET IN STAMPS FOR ALL OF YOU,
BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE KEDDYS, I LOVE YOU, AND SORRY YOU ARE GETTING NEGLECTED ON THE CARD LIST.
MY WISH IS THAT EVERYONE HAVE A HEALTHY, HAPPY, HOLIDAY,
GOD BLESS, AND LOVE, TAMI & FAMILY

Christmas note from Grandma Ann with love!

Rather than just comment. . .I wanted to post something you all could read. I want to extend my Merry Christmas wishes to all who have assisted with the miracle that is this beautiful little family!

As we all know this has been a difficult year . . .I don't think the little princesses have missed hardly a beat. . .their Mommy and Daddy cherish them and everyone else that comes in contact with them can't help but exclaim how precious they are.

Tami and Albert have been steadfast and committed. They are to be congratulated! There is no greater accomplishment than building a loving family. They are doing the work!

Tami, you keep blogging here. . .it makes my heart sing to think what delight you will all get out of these posts as your life continues to improve. You write with love, wit and determination. It will serve you well and mean so much to Lilli and Ella.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Tami back for December

Hi! I am going to be brave and try to do an entry while the girls are home, and hope they don't destroy too much. We have decorated for Christmas, and I finally got our family pictures back to put in cards. Sadly now, they won't make it out in time, so I am sending a New Years wish instead. So watch the mail for late arrival's from us.

My girls were told at school, that if they sang "Jingle Bells" really loud, Santa would come. So they keep asking me to shout the song with them. They are so funny! Santa came to their school. That was a highlight for them. Lilli said he was even the real one, not the fake one from Wall-mart. We also took them to see one last Saturday, and they did crafts and had a train ride. It was freezing for us that day, so we left to go home, but they rode the train twice and had fun. I almost went on a ride too, but chickened out at the last minute. The holiday is so much fun with them at this age!

The other day I was remembering how I could just stare at them for hours, and never tire of it, when they were babies. And now I wonder when that changed into counting down to bed time. Of course I still have times when I am in awe of how wonderful they are. Time sure flies! They are so busy all the time! I miss being able to just sit and hold them. The moments are so different now, still great, just very different. Thank goodness for pictures, or we might forget all together how small they once were! I try to explain to them that they are always my babies, even if they get big. My Lilli seems to grow out of her clothes weekly. She continues to be my biggest helper. My sweet Albert is buying me a video camera for Christmas, that I can use with one hand. I am so excited to be able to capture all the cute moments for the future. They keep us laughing all day with performances of dance and song. They have quite the moves.

I had my bio-feedback yesterday, and we worked on my shoulder muscles. Since I have done so well, we challenged it with leaving my new hand brace on, which weighs about 5 pounds. I still did wonderful and surprised us both! We even moved my level up twice! I was so happy I text my parents right away to tell them, and today I am surely feeling it. I am sore, but that is good, since I know it got a workout. I am still working on my left leg and knee. It is also very sore.

I am going Christmas shopping tomorrow, and I will swallow my pride and use a motor cart to prevent any more aches. My therapist and I decided my arm brace makes it obvious enough to others that something is wrong with me, which is good, because I look relatively normal, and so people don't notice to be a little more cautious of me. I still get nervous if I am in crowds, or outdoors with lots of things going on.

I am seeing the light of my trial. Though I feel very accomplished some days, and yet very irritated some other days. I continue to go back to read the old blogs, the ones I slept through. I am filled with gratitude and humbled at the kindness of so many! I feel like I wish I could call each and every one to say thanks for the care and prayers. I tried to send cards to everyone, but that seems so impersonal.
I WISH LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO YOU ALL, ALWAYS, BUT A LITTLE EXTRA FOR THE SEASON.
GOD BLESS,
LOVE, TAMI, ALBERT, LILLI, AND GABRIELLA

Hi! From Tami

TERESA POINTED OUT TO ME THIS MORNING, THAT I HADN'T MADE ANY UPDATES FOR DECEMBER YET. SO I WILL CRAM IT ALL INTO ONE. NOW THE GIRLS JUST LEFT FOR SCHOOL. IT'S GOOD FOR ALL 3 OF US. THIS WEEKEND WE ACTUALLY WENT TO SEARS AND HAD FAMILY PICTURES DONE. THE GIRLS WERE BEAUTIFUL, AND LOVED BEING TREATED LIKE ROYALTY. THE PICTURES TURNED OUT VERY CUTE! WE HAVE NOT EVER HAD THEM DONE BEFORE PROFESSIONALLY, AND HAD TO GAG AT THE COST OF IT. NEXT TIME WE MIGHT JUST HAND SOMEONE OUR CAMERA AND DO THEM THAT WAY.

YESTERDAY WAS ALBERT'S BIRTHDAY, BUT HE SWORE HE DIDN'T WANT US TO DO ANY KIND OF PARTY. SO IT WAS QUITE UNEVENTFUL FOR HIM. WE MIGHT HAVE A DINNER THIS WEEKEND FOR HIM.

I GOT TO GET MY HAIR DONE YESTERDAY, WHICH I LOVE, BECAUSE SHE MAKES IT STRAIGHT FOR ME. I REALLY DON'T LIKE MY CURLS, AND ALWAYS USED TO MAKE IT STRAIGHT ANYWAY. IT IS EVEN LONG ENOUGH NOW THAT IT IS TO MY CHIN. SOON I WILL BE ABLE TO FIX IT HOWEVER I WANT. LAST THURSDAY WAS MY BIO-FEEDBACK THERAPY AND WE WORKED ON MY WRIST MOVEMENT. I HAD A HIGH ENOUGH SCORE THAT HE SAID IT WAS AT A USEABLE RANGE. SO I NEED TO GET MY FINGERS GOING, AND I WOULD HAVE SO MUCH MORE PATIENCE WITH IT. THE SMALLER THE MUSCLE THE HARDER IT IS, SO I STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK.


I HAD ALSO HAD EXTENSIVE TESTS DONE ON MY EYES TO MAKE SURE MY MEDICATION HAD NOT HURT ANYTHING. THE EYE DOCTOR THOUGHT THEY WERE FINE. I GO BACK NEXT WEEK FOR FINAL RESULTS, WHICH IS VERY GOOD. I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE ANY MEDICATIONS.


TWO NIGHTS AGO, MY CUTE LITTLE ELLA SNUCK INTO MY BED. SHE HASN'T HAD ANY POTTY ACCIDENTS SINCE AUGUST, BUT WOKE ME UP TO SAY HER UNDIES WERE WET. SHE HAD PEED IN MY BED. THE JOYS OF BEING A PARENT! NO BIG THING,I JUST WISHED IT WASN'T IN MY BED. THE GIRLS LIKE TO PLAY "MOM AND DAD", LIL LIKES TO BE MOM AND ELLA'S THE BABY, SO ALL DAY ELLA WALKS AROUND SAYING "MOM", "MOM", AND I WILL ANSWER, AND SHE SAYS "NOT YOU MOM, THE OTHER MOM." ALL DAY LONG... AND FOR ANYONE THAT HAS MET MY GIRLS,YOU KNOW THEY NEVER STOP TALKING. I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING ME SOME OF THOSE HELICOPTER EARPHONES THAT BLOCK OUT SOUND. NOT JUST FOR THEIR MOM GAME, BUT FOR ALL DAY.IT SEEMS LIKE ALBERT AND I ARE ALWAYS ASKING THEM TO BE QUIET FOR JUST A MINUTE, OR TALK ONE AT A TIME. THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF THEM, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE ROOM OF KIDS!

MY LILLI HAS DECIDED SHE WANTS STRAIGHT HAIR TOO. SHE WATCHES TV AND SEES THAT FEW HAVE CURLS LIKE HER. SHE ASKED ME WHY I GOT MY HAIR DONE, AND I SAID I WANTED TO LOOK CUTE, AND SHE RESPONDED RIGHT AWAY WITH "MOM YOU WERE ALREADY CUTE!" SHE IS SO SWEET! I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH! I CONSTANTLY FEEL SO LUCKY TO HAVE TWO GIRLS, UNTIL IT'S TIME TO GET DRESSED. THEY ARE BOTH VERY FASHION CONSCIENCE. I THOUGHT THAT DIDN'T START 'TILL HIGH SCHOOL. BOY! WAS I WRONG! AT LEAST 3 OUTFITS BEFORE THE FINAL CHOICE. IT'S NOT REALLY WINTER HERE, BUT IT IS FOR US, SO THEIR TANK TOPS AND FLIP FLOPS JUST DON'T WORK RIGHT NOW, AND THAT IS VERY UPSETTING TO MY GIRLS!


MY LILLI IS JUST COUNTING DOWN UTILL SHE IS 40. THAT IS OUR HOUSE RULE FOR WHEN THEY CAN GET MARRIED. SHE SAYS SHE FOUND THE BOY SHE WILL MARRY, AND THAT IS ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. THEY HAVE SEEN TOO MANY PRINCESS MOVIES WITH WEDDINGS! LILLI IS GOING TO MARRY THIS BOY NAMED NOAH, AND ELLA WANTS TO MARRY HER DAD. IT IS THE TOPIC FOR MOST OF OUR DISCUSSIONS. EVEN AT THE MALL FOR PICTURES, LILLI WAS CHECKING OUT THE BRIDAL RINGS, AND TELLING ME WHICH ONE HER NOAH WILL GET HER. WHAT WILL I DO WITH THESE GIRLS WHEN THEY GET REAL BOYFRIENDS?

the famous santa threat.

HI! I JUST HAD SOMETHING CUTE HAPPEN, SO BEFORE I FORGET, WE HAVE BEEN USING THE FAMOUS THREAT OF "IF YOU ARE NOT NICE SANTA WONT BRING YOU TOYS", AND LILLI SAID "WHAT ABOUT DAD, HAS HE BEEN NICE?" OR YOU MOM, "WERE YOU NICE?" IT MADE ME LAUGH AND THINK, HAVE WE BEEN? I AM SURE MY MOM WOULD SAY YES, I HAVE BEEN. BUT JUST IN CASE, I WILL BUY MY OWN GIFT. WE WENT TO WALL-MART SATURDAY, AND I LET LILLI PICK A GIFT FOR TOYS FOR TOTS, SINCE THEY WERE COLLECTING THAT DAY. WE BOUGHT IT, AND SHE GAVE IT TO THE SANTA THERE TO GIVE TO KIDS. THEN LILLI SAID "MOM HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SANTA, HE HAD A WIG FOR A BEARD." SHE DOESN'T MISS A THING. I PERSONALLY AM NOT A FAN OF HOW CHRISTMAS IS PERCEIVED. IT SEEMS TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH JESUS, BUT I CAN'T HELP USING THE BRIBE OF SANTA. IN A PERFECT WORLD MY GIRLS WOULD JUST BE AS SWEET AS THEY LOOK, BUT THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE. SOME DAYS I FEEL I NEED A WHISTLE AND STRIPED SHIRT FOR MY SWEET GIRLS. I OFTEN CALL MY MOM TERESA FOR PARENTING ADVICE. SHE SEEMS TO HAVE DONE THE BEST JOB WITH HER ROLE AS A MOM. MAYBE SHE JUST HAD THE BEST DAUGHTER TO WORK WITH. BUT HER BOYS TURNED OUT GOOD TOO. I REALLY THINK SHE HAS THE MAGIC. I DO A LOT OF PRAYING THAT I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR MY DAUGHTERS. BUT I KNOW I AM A TOTAL SOFTY FOR THEM. I ALWAYS WANT TO BELIEVE THEY ARE TRYING TO BE THEIR BEST. WHEN I WAS A NANNY I WAS MUCH MORE FIRM.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.
LOVE TAMI AND HER DARLING GIRLS.

Tami here.

WE HAD A GREAT THANKSGIVING, WITH LOTS TO GIVE THANKS FOR, AND LOTS OF YUMMY FOOD! GRANDMA TONI AND AUNT MONICA DID ALL THE COOKING. THE BOYS WENT RIDING ON THEIR FOUR WHEELERS. THE GIRLS AND I HUNG OUT, ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR FOOD. OF COURSE IT WAS FABULOUS! I TRIED TO EAT AS MUCH AS I COULD FIT, WHILE LEAVING A SPACE FOR PIE LATER. THEN BRING ON THE FOOD COMA! MY ELLA PASSED OUT IN HER CHAIR, SOUND ASLEEP RIGHT BEFORE WE ATE. TONI ASKED WHO IS GOING TO SAY GRACE? LILLI SPOKE UP AND SHOUTED OUT "GRACE"! WE ALL LAUGHED AND SHE SAID, "MOM WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" SO I EXPLAINED, AND ON WENT THE MEAL.
SINCE SLEEPING SOMEWHERE ELSE IS NEVER THE SAME AS BEING AT HOME, THE GIRLS HAD A ROUGH NIGHT BEFORE. SO WE WERE ALL EXTRA TIRED AFTER DINNER. THE GIRLS AND ALBERT FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, ALL SLUNG OVER EACH OTHER. IT WAS SO CUTE! MY LITTLE FAMILY IN A DOG PILE! WE HAD TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE WAS SNORING. I THINK IT WAS ALL 3.
WE CAME HOME THURSDAY NIGHT, AND ALBERT WENT TO MEET HIS BROTHER FOR A WEDDING IN LAS VEGAS. SO THE GIRLS AND I ARE BEING LAZY TODAY. I HOPE EVERY ONE HAD A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY. LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.

Good afternoon. It is Tami. My girls are off to school. It is so quiet at home, I love it!
So I went to the new doctor yesterday. She seems very good. She is VERY thorough, which is good. The old doctor was the exact opposite. I think I will like her. I was frustrated yesterday because she set up 2 appointments for me on Wednesday. She wants me to have my eyes checked, in case my seizure medication is causing trouble with my vision. We do want to know if it is, although I am concerned, because I don't want to have to switch meds again. But my real trouble was finding rides and child care for these 2 appointments on such short notice. I go to the first one at 8a.m and will have to be gone most of the day Wednesday. That stinks for me, but I shouldn't complain. I will have Thursday and Friday to rest.
One funny thing with the new doc is, she says I need to be eating 3 to 5 meals a day. I had to laugh since I am doing good to have 2 a day! SO THIS WILL MAKE BETH feel better about my diet. I might even gain a pound or two.
Now I know I am not part of the general female population when I say I am trying to gain weight, and that I am self conscience about my bones showing. Only Hollywood thinks being this skinny is cool.
The cute part of my Monday had to be watching my little Ella dance to dads music. Lilli has been a dancer since she could stand, but Ella is much more reserved. But she is changing and she had her hands on hips and was rocking out. It was so cute! Wish I could show everyone. Although she is growing up I still see her as my little baby.
I will be gone for a few days. We are going to Albert's grandma Toni's, in Enterprise for Thanksgiving. I wish you all a wonderful holiday!
GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU ALL.
Love Tami and her tiny dancers.

SNEAKY CHILDREN.

HELLO IT IS TAMI AGAIN WITH OUR NEWEST CHALLENGE. I PUT THE GIRLS TO BED AS USUAL LAST NIGHT AND; THEN IT SOUNDED LIKE A PARTY, SO I WENT IN TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND; ELLA WAS UP ON LILLI'S BUNK BED WITH A FLASH LIGHT AND THEY WERE HAVING A BALL. SO I TURNED THE LIGHT ON AND THEY WERE COVERED IN MY LIP-STICK! SO THEY BOTH GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT AND HAD TO GO BACK TO BED. THIS MORNING I NOTICED THAT LILLI HAD HER NAILS PAINTED PURPLE. SO I CHECKED HER BED, AND SURE ENOUGH, POLISH ON EVERYTHING! I HAD THROWN THE POLISH AWAY LAST WEEK AND I HAD TRIED TO HIDE THE LIP-STICK, OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH. THEY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO GET AT IT. SO TODAY SHE IS GROUNDED TO HER ROOM AND I AM PUZZLED WITH HOW TO PREVENT FUTURE ADVENTURES OF SNEAKINESS. ANY ADVICE IS WELCOME.
I KNOW IT LOOKS REALLY BAD TO TIE UP CHILDREN'S HANDS, SO I WON'T GO THAT ROUTE. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO START PATTING THEM DOWN BEFORE THEY LEAVE A ROOM. LIKE A METAL OR MAKE-UP DETECTOR. NOW WE ONLY HAVE 2 CHILDREN WE SHOULD HAVE A HANDLE ON THAT. SOME FOLKS HAVE MANY MORE. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT TROUBLE.
I HAVE AN APT. WITH A NEW NEUROLOGIST TODAY. WE WERE NOT PLEASED WITH THE LAST ONE. AT LEAST IT SHOULD BE A PAINLESS VISIT. I WILL TELL HOW IT GOES LATER. I FEEL LIKE I AM GETTING IN THE GROOVE OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION BETTER EACH DAY.
MORE TO COME LATER.

tami here.

Hi! to all . It is Saturday morning and I have the girls watching Little Mermaid so I can update without their fingers trying to help. I was reading back through the old blog from the beginning of this journey, and was brought to tears by all the love. I missed most of the stressful action I brought to those that followed the news. What a trip! I hope to never repeat it. Those that talk to me, or see me, know that I am a huge Twilight fan. I had read all the books before my stroke, and once I was home, I buried myself in them again, for the happy escape that reading gives me. Last night was opening day of the New Moon movie, and my dear friend Andrea bought me a ticket earlier in the month. So we went last night, and it was fabulous! I am already wanting to see it again. I even played my handicap card and didn't have to wait in line. It was funny though, the staff said to me," Where is the handicap person?" I laughed and said," It's me, but thanks for not noticing."
This morning Albert had to work, so the girls and I are hanging at home, like we do. My little Ella did a 2 year old thing and came crying to me. I asked " what happened?" She cried,"I have licorice in my nose!" I had given them a nibs, and I guess it smelled good. We got it out, and I thought, "at least it took her this long before she tried that childhood trick." I am so much better than my old blogs. It is crazy what we can survive, once put to the test. I continue to improve. I know that I have to keep trying things that I maybe couldn't do before, because I can usually do them now. I still have a long way to go, because I want near perfection. I want everything just as good as it used to be, and I WILL get it!
Continued love, and grace to all.
Love Tami
Thank you to everyone for the last year.
My editor mother Teresa has been busy correcting my punctuation and grammar this week since I have entered so much . Love you mom.

tami's evening post.

Hello from Tami. It is Thursday night. My girls are sleeping and I should be too, but wanted to brag about my babies first school picture day. Their aunt Monica came in the morning to fix their hair so cute ! She did pigtails with perfect ringlets for each. She had also bought ribbon to put in. They looked so innocent and cute! I am so excited to see the pictures. Their teacher said that Ella wouldn't smile. She had told me she was going to do a scary face. I hope that wasn't the case.

I had biofeedback therapy today, and continue to beat past records for myself. I also told him I am running out of patience. I am usually really good at staying positive, but I can feel myself losing that with my hand. I can surely move my shoulder and arm, but still nothing of use. I have had it with not having two hands! I find myself wanting to scream or cry through the day when I remember it doesn't work! Because I will go to do something that should be so simple, like carry laundry, or help my girls get dressed, and sure enough, it just hangs there. Now 6 months of that is annoying. It has been more than a year, and I have had it! I really hope I have learned whatever lesson God is trying to teach me.... Because I need a recess !!!

Now there is a man that has therapy with me on Thursdays, and he has been paralyzed for 3 1/2 years. He is now standing, and can walk with a walker. So I tell myself if he can do that, there is no reason I can't get my damn hand going! I'm sure I should say " dang hand" but that's not what I mean! I feel sometimes like I am being a snot. I should be so happy that I have made it through all this mess and all I lost was one limb and some brain. But I still have so much left, or technically I have my right side, not much of my left, but you know what I mean. Everyone says at least I am young, but that is a double-edge sword. Yes, I am young, so I should be tougher, but I am too young for this crap! My parents are too old for this crap! No offence mom and dad, you know I love you both, and you have the crappiest seat in this. My Ella cut her lip at the park, and I wanted to cry for her! She is my baby! I am 28 and totally my parents baby, at least my dads for sure. Teresa has a softer spot for my children. I think she is used to my drama.

Hi, from Tami . We made it through Tuesday, so I'm sure that since I mentioned just yesterday how great my blood check has been, I jinxed it for today. My blood has been perfect since August. Today it was too thin. No big deal, it just means they alter my dose a bit and they have to draw a vile of blood. My girls always come with, so when I knew the shot was coming, I said "dang it", and Lilli said, "What's wrong mom?" So I explained that mom hates shots. She said "Be tough mom, if you're sad then I am sad. " So I said," No worries baby, mom is so tough, and Ms. ancy does it so it doesn't even hurt." Then my dear friend Julie, that had driven us there , took the girls to school, since it was time for it. Then I came home and picked up the hurricane mess that my angels had made earlier. Once I had done that, it was safe to try a nap. I slept for one lovely hour, then dad and the girls were home. My little Ella is still getting used to school during her nap time, so she crashes as soon as she's home. Tomorrow I told Ella, if the sun isn't up she has to stay in bed. She was up at 6AM this morning again, so hungry she needed a few pieces of cereal and a drink of milk, then she's done and tired. I tried to feed her extra before bed to make her not hungry.

Wednesday is my favorite day, only Lilli goes to school, and then it is just Ella and mom. We have no appointments and we always go to church @ 7pm. I love it! The girls have the little kids bible class to go to, and dad and I sit in the service. I love it so much! I look forward to it all week.
Love to all, good night.
I'm too tired to proof read this, my mom does it again anyway.
Thanks Teresa.

my happy monday.

MY DARLING ELLA WOKE ME AT 6:15 THIS MORNING. EARLY EVEN FOR HER! SHE WAS WHINING ABOUT HOW HUNGRY SHE WAS, SO I TIREDLY GOT UP TO GET HER BREAKFAST, AND HONESTLY SHE TOOK 2 BITES AND WENT TO LIE ON THE FLOOR CUZ SHE'S TIRED. DUH ! THE SUN WASN'T EVEN UP! SO BY 7A.M. I WAS ALREADY DREAMING ABOUT LUNCH AND NAP TIME. I KNOW THAT ONE DAY THEY WILL BE TOO BIG TO NAP, BUT I WILL PUSH IT TILL THE LAST MOMENT. SO I LEAVE THE HOUSE A MESS, AND TRY TO GET A NAP TOO. SOME DAYS BETTER THAN OTHERS . BOTH GIRLS HAVE PRESCHOOL TOMORROW SO THAT WILL BE MY BLESSED NAP OF THE WEEK . WE HAVE MY BLOOD CHECK IN THE MORNING AND GRATEFULLY I HAVE HAD PERFECT NUMBERS FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW. SO I DON'T EVEN WONDER ABOUT IT ANYMORE. IT IS THE GIRLS FAVORITE APPOINTMENT TO GO TO WITH ME . THE NURSE THAT DOES MY BLOOD WORK ALSO LOVES THE GIRLS AND SPOILS THEM WITH 2 SUCKERS EACH. THE WHOLE CLINIC LOVES TO SEE THEM . I ALMOST WORRY IF THEY WOULD STILL TREAT ME AS WELL WITH OUT MY SIDE KICKS. THE NURSE IS NAMED NANCY ,THEY CALL HER MS. ANCY THEY WATCH HER SO OFTEN I BET LILLI KNOWS HOW TO DO IT HERSELF. MY LITTLE FUTURE NURSES.
WHEN ALBERT GOT HOME TODAY I ASKED HIM TO TAKE ME TANNING, SOMETHING I USED TO DO ALLOT BUT HADN'T SINCE I HAD LILLI . THERE IS A PLACE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. I WENT TWICE LAST WEEK , AND REMEMBERED HOW MUCH I LOVE IT! I LOVE THE WARMTH, DOWN TO MY BONES, AND NOW IT'S LIKE A MOMMY TIME OUT.
I USED TO WORRY ABOUT WRINKLES, BUT AFTER THIS LAST YEAR I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THAT. NOW MY BABIES ARE IN BED SO I HAVE SOME QUIET TIME TO REFLECT ON OUR DAY .
FOR LUNCH I LET THEM GET ON THE COUNTER TO WATCH ME, AND WHEN I GOT THEM DOWN, THEY WERE BOTH SO HAPPY BECAUSE MOMMY WAS HOLDING THEM. I LOVE THAT THEY STILL JUST THINK OF ME AS THE SAME OL' MOM. THEY LOVE ME EVEN IF I CAN ONLY HOLD THEM FOR A SHORT MINUTE. THEY MAKE MY WORLD A HAPPY PLACE . THEY REALLY LOVE THAT THEY ARE FASTER THAN ME.

DAD WALKED THEM TO THE PARK CLOSE BY TONIGHT, AFTER DINNER . THEY CAME BACK FREEZING COLD. SO THEN WE HAD HOT COCOA TO WARM UP.
I AM SO LUCKY! WHAT A LIFE I HAVE! HOT CHOCOLATE WITH ANGELS , PLUS THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE DADDY WITHDRAWALS TODAY. THAT WAS GREAT FOR ME!
GOD BLESS AND LOVE TO ALL.

Tami here, with our weekend fun.

Saturday we went to uncle David's birthday party, at their house. All day Ella said she was going to help uncle David with his candles. Ella is hard to win over, but while I was in the hospital, the girls spent alot of time with family, and David made a soft spot in Ella's heart. He is currently her favorite. I hear he would let her pick large amounts of grapes from our grape vine, and the way to her heart is surely through her tummy. So like she planned, David put her on his lap while we sang, and Ella soaked up the glory, pretending we were singing to her. She then helped him blow the candles out and each time one of the family would say "Hi Ella", she would respond with , " I go to school now." She is so happy to be in the club with her sister, and as their mom it's always fun to see how proud & happy my daughters are.
We ate wonderful food, as always, with Albert's family, and when we went home we brought home the girls cousin for a sleepover. She is 6 and loves playing with the girls. Sunday morning we got our usual weekend breakfast that dad always makes, waffles with whip-cream & strawberries. Then I needed to go to Walmart, so we took the kids to the park first to let them run around, but it was really cold for us sun- soakers, probably 50 or so. It was windy too, so I hid in the truck while dad played with all 3 girls. He is always willing to play. Lucky for me, and for the girls. Then off for the endless Walmart list. Usually we each take one girl and meet at the front. I had the two big girls, Lilli and her cousin. It was the first time Lilli got to walk. It took her about 10 minutes before her excitement wore off, but she was good and stayed close to mom, and I would tell them what we needed and let them put it in the cart. They found that to be very neat, like they were shopping. We came home to have lunch and let them have a nap. Then I was so pleased about getting in the bath last week, so I decided to try it again. A nice peaceful bath. I think I had about 10 minutes before Lilli and Ella were standing right next to the tub, giving me bath toys from their tub, wondering why I didn't have some already, and they want to help mom all the time. So they stood at the door and kept saying "mom just tell us if you need anything." THEY waited... not so patiently... until I was ready to give up on my relaxing bath. They really are sweet! They want to help with anything I need. So I gave in and let them do their favorite thing, and use their always cold little hands, to put lotion on mom's back. They learned this from when Teresa lived here, even the cold hand part. We had to find some way for them to be useful. Now tomorrow is withdrawal day. They both go into shock on Mondays when dad goes back to work, after they have their best buddy home for two days. It's always hard when he leaves. They love mom but on Monday when they wake, they are so sad to see that dad is gone . With mom it's just routine and house junk, with dad it's play and outings. He really has fun with them. Ella tells him," You're just a big boy." I have to agree. The 3 of them are noisy, fun, and silly. Very lucky to have such an active dad for my girls. They just keep getting bigger. I can't believe my Lilli will be 4 in January! How time flies! We both know we only have about 10 years of fun to go, and then trouble, 14 and 13, and they are so sassy, heaven help us! Albert's birthday is next month, and like most, he's not looking forward to being older, and I'm chomping at the bit to be 30! Two years to go, but I imagine how strong I will be by then, and with hope, I'll be wiser as well. I'm so excited for both! I also daydream of how incredibly easy my days will be, as soon as I gain full use of my left arm. I truly feel blessed that my health challenge was hard as heck to begin and NOW I have as long as I need to get better. Most illnesses, it's the other way, it gets progressively worse. Mine was a big wreck and then eased off, not easy, but do-able, I get to know the worst is behind me, and since they found out what caused it, I have full faith it won't ever happen again. Glad to get that out of the way. For those that were there when I woke from the trauma, I had thought I was in the hospital to have a baby. What other reason would a young woman be in the hospital? So I was very sad to find out that wasn't the case, and even though I struggle to keep up with my two, my heart still wants the one from my coma dream. God is mysterious, who knows, maybe I get that baby later in life. I adore my girls, and know I have little angels tearing up my house each day, but there is nothing more magical than a new baby. I continue to dream of my delusional baby at least once a week. I am so glad I got the two real ones first. My memories of the coma are very interesting to me. I remember bits and pieces of reality, in a fog of hallucinations is the best I can describe it. I wish I could update with some photos. We just got some of our Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty from Halloween, and holy crow! They look stunning! I would love to show them off. We are really hoping to get a family photo done before the holidays. We haven't ever had a real one. When we get one, I'll try to get it on here. Well my girls are in bed and I'm ready to follow, as for the entry from my grandma Ann , I had mentioned that I might stop making entries and she obviously doesn't want that, and if it would make her happy I will write them forever! She has been amazing, as always, but so much this last year. She still takes me to my biofeedback therapy most weeks. She scanned a very neat article on it to me, So if anyone would like it I can e-mail it to you. It talks about some special cases where some have recovered from stroke and spinal cord injuries. It's proof that I will get everything back the way I used to be. It'll be hard work, but that's what makes things worth while. I have been so focused on being able to fix the girls hair , it barely occurred to me last week that I will be able to fix mine as well. I hadn't even thought of how useful that will be for me! I had Albert take me to go tanning twice this week. I used to go all the time, 'till I was pregnant. So it had been 3 years since I had gone. I forgot how much I loved it! Since I am always so cold, it felt great to be warm to my bones for awhile. I'm so happy to fit that in, since I'm so pale. I only do about 7 minutes, so Albert and the girls just wait in the truck. It feels good to have even 7 minutes to myself. I asked Albert that on the days he gets to go to the gym I would love to go tan, sounds like a good deal for both of us. Each week gets more comfortable for all of us, as we adjust to our new life. Albert has been going out on his 4wheeler a lot lately. I know that's how he has fun. Last week he crashed and got some road rash, he had the girls taking care of him since I'm mean and had no sympathy. I told him to " suck it up." Lilli said" suck what up, mom?" I know he's itching to go camping again. They haven't been for almost a month, which is long for them , but it's getting colder.
love to all and GOD BLESS.

Grandma Ann here. . . .

I think it is very important for you to continue this blog. It serves as a record/journal for you. This story that has been logged here from the beginning and as you said, you receive strength from reading how far you've come.

The entries don't have to be long and terribly detailed, but I encourage to write at least weekly . . . . .posting how your life is becoming more 'normal' and things that encourage or discourage you. Also, it will be so fun for your girls to read about themselves and what a delight they are to you.

I think you still have friends and family that would love to check in here periodically. . . .keep it up sweetheart! Love ya!

tami's back to update the week.

ELLA HAD HER FIRST DAYS AT PRESCHOOL THIS WEEK . SHE WILL JOIN LILLI 2 DAYS A WEEK. LILLI GOES 3 DAYS. ELLA COULD BARELY CONTAIN HER JOY AT KNOWING SHE WAS GOING TO SCHOOL WITH HER BIG SISTER ON TUESDAY. IT WAS PRETTY CUTE. SHE HAS BEEN VERY GOOD WITHOUT HER PACIFIER. SHE ALSO GRADUATED OUT OF HER HIGH CHAIR THIS WEEK. SHE IS OFFICIALLY A BIG GIRL. SHE HAD A VERY EXCITING MONTH, POTTY TRAINED, GOING TO PRESCHOOL, NO PACIFIER OR HIGH CHAIR. MY BABY IS GETTING SO BIG! THEIR TEACHER PICKS THEM UP ON TUESDAY AND THURSDAY, AND JUST LILLI WEDNESDAY. THE SCHOOL THEY GO TO IS REALLY GREAT, AND THEY SAID THE GIRLS ARE SO FUN TO HAVE. LILLI GETS TO PLAY THE BOSSY BIG SISTER, A ROLE SHE'S GOOD AT. THEY JUST GIGGLE AND PLAY AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT THEIR DAY AND ALL THE FRIENDS THEY MAKE. I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL NOW THAT THEY ARE GETTING BIG TOGETHER. WHEN I HAD THEM SO CLOSE IT WAS REALLY HARD, BUT NOW IT'S PAYING OFF. THAT IS OUR BIG NEWS RIGHT NOW.
I WAS THINKING I MIGHT CUT BACK ON MY BLOG ENTRIES FOR AWHILE
SINCE MY PROGRESS HAS SLOWED DOWN. I WILL JUST BRAG ABOUT MY GIRLS CONTINUED GROWTH.
I WANTED TO WAIT TILL I GOT TO ANNOUNCE SOMETHING WONDERFUL LIKE I BRAIDED THEIR HAIR OR ZIPPED A JACKET. I HAVE BEEN GOING BACK TO READ THE OLDER ENTRIES IN THE BLOG TO REMIND MYSELF HOW FAR I HAVE COME. I FORGET SINCE I JUST CONTINUE. NOW I'M SELFISH AND STILL WANT BIG LEAPS OF IMPROVEMENT. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REALLY FOCUS ON MY LEFT LEG TO MAKE MY WALKING BETTER. IT IS GETTING STRONGER AND I CAN PRACTICE ANYWHERE I GO. IT KIND OF LOOKS SILLY WHEN I'M TRYING TO SWING MY ARM AROUND. I SAVE THAT ONE FOR HOME. I APPRECIATE THE SMALLEST THINGS THAT'S FOR SURE! LAST WEEK I ACCOMPLISHED A HUGE THING FOR ME. I HAVE A NICE BIG TUB THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO USE SINCE IT IS SO DEEP. I WAS SCARED TO GET IN. WE HAD TRIED WHEN TERESA FIRST BROUGHT ME HOME, AND IT DIDN'T REALLY WORK. BUT LAST WEEK I GOT IN AND OUT BY MYSELF. I WAS VERY HAPPY AND PROUD OF ME FOR DOING THAT! I ALSO REALIZED THAT MY GIRLS GET ALOT OUT OF THOSE MOMENTS, SINCE THEY GET TO LEARN HOW TO HELP THEMSELVES WITH THINGS MOM ISN'T ABLE TO DO YET. MY LITTLE ELLA CAN DRESS HERSELF AND PUT HER SHOES ON. OF COURSE, I WISH I COULD DO EVERY THING THEY NEED, SO I REMIND MYSELF THAT IT TEACHES THEM INDEPENDENCE SKILLS.
GOD BLESS ALL, UNTIL NEXT TIME, TAMI

my e-mail at last. for those that have been waiting for me.

It's a long one but I guess there are a lot of Tamara Richardsons out there.
taminatormom 14 @live.com
I can usually check it at least once a day.
As you all know Teresa left .
Ella had her first dentist check yesterday and he said no more pacifier. So we had to do the heart-breaking task of taking it away. She cried most of yesterday & ended up in mom and dad's bed last night. She is so sad! I think it'll be hard for me to stick to since I have a super soft heart and hate to have her so sad all day. She is still my baby, even if she's two. Her dad cut all her pacifiers up, so I have no choice but to follow rules .
This morning she asked Lilli to go buy her a new one.
God bless to all and to Beth, yes I'm eating. I even put on 3 whole pounds in a month! That's huge for me! It takes a lot of ice-cream and focus. love you.

IT'S TAMI

WOW! I JUST SAW THE NEW PICTURES FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT'S STILL UNREAL FOR ME TO SEE THE OLD PICTURE FROM THE HOSPITAL. I WAS SO SCAREY LOOKING! I HAVE TO GO TO AN APPOINTMENT NOW. I'LL WRITE MORE LATER.

TERESA GOES HOME

HI FRIENDS AND FAMILY. TERESA HAS BEEN HERE BLESSING ME WITH HER HELP AND PATIENCE WITH MY GIRLS. I REALIZED IT'S A GOOD THING SHE HAD TO MOVE BACK TO VERNAL AND LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF AND THE GIRLS. IT'S MUCH TOO EASY TO SIT BACK AND LET HER TAKE OVER FOR ME. I SURELY HAVE IMPROVED OUT OF NESSECITY. SHE HAS TO HEAD HOME TODAY. SADLY WE ALWAYS WISH SHE COULD SPEND MORE TIME. THE GIRLS JUST ADORE HER AND MIND HER SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEY DO ME.
I TRY TO CONTINUALLY GET USED TO THE NEW ME. I GET FRUSTRATED SINCE I WAS SO DRIVEN AND INDEPENDANT BEFORE AND I DO REQUIRE SO MUCH HELP FROM OTHERS. STILL THE CORE OF ME STILL KNOWS HOW LUCKY I AM, BUT THE HUMAN PART OF ME GETS IRRITATED WITH MY TROUBLED BODY. I TOLD TERESA I'M SURPRISED THAT I CAN STILL HAVE SO MUCH PRIDE AND WANT TO DO THINGS BY MYSELF. I WOULD THINK I COULD LET THAT GO BY NOW.
LOVE TO ALL AND GOD BLESS

HI AGAIN FROM TAMI. WE HAD OUR HALLOWEEN FUN FRIDAY NIGHT. ALBERT'S FAMILY TOOK THE GIRLS OUT SATURDAY TOO, BUT I WAS TO TIRED TO GO AGAIN, SO I HUNG AT HOME HOPING FOR FEW TRICK- OR- TREATERS, SINCE I HAD MY FAVORITE TREATS TO GIVE AND WOULD LOVE TO EAT THEM MYSELF. THE GIRLS HAD A BLAST AND I DID MANAGE TO HIDE THE CANDY WHERE THEY CAN'T FIND IT, AND WE CAN RATION IT OUT SLOWLY. IT'S SO DIFFERENT TO BE THE PARENT INSTEAD OF THE KID. I STILL REMEMBER HOW MY DAD WOULD" INSPECT" MY TREATS FOR SO CALLED SAFETY, AND NOW ITS MY TURN.
I KNOW TERESA MENTIONED MY CALIFORNIA TRIP, BUT I WILL FILL IN THE EXTRA INFO. I WENT SO I COULD GET A BREAK FROM THE HOUSE AND SEE WHERE ALBERT IS FROM. SURE ENOUGH I MISSED MY GIRLS THE SECOND I LEFT THE HOUSE. I HAD BEEN QUITE NERVOUS TO TRAVEL THAT FAR. IT'S NOT AS EASY FOR ME NOW, PLUS I HAD NEVER BEEN SO FAR FROM MY BABIES. ALBERT'S FAMILY WAS VERY WELCOMING AND MAKES THE BEST FOOD! I THINK I ATE MORE THAT WEEKEND THAN I HAVE ALL YEAR! IT WAS WONDERFUL! WE WENT TO THE SAN DIEGO ZOO AND I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD MOTOR CARTS FOR THE ELDERLY, WHICH I FEEL LIKE I AM. SO I TRIED TO BE TOUGH AND WALKED THE WHOLE DAY! THAT WASN'T THE BEST IDEA I'VE HAD. IT WAS NERVE RACKING TO HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. I ALMOST GOT KNOCKED DOWN TWICE BY ROWDY KIDS. I FORGET THAT THEY CAN BE DANGEROUS, SINCE MY GIRLS ARE SO USED TO ME AND KNOW TO BE CAREFUL WITH MOM. BUT IT WAS STILL VERY NEAT AND MAN WAS I SORE THE NEXT DAY! BUT IT WAS MY BACK THAT WAS SORE, SO I KNEW I WASN'T WALKING RIGHT. WELL I ALREADY KNEW THAT. SO THE NEXT TIME I HAD BIO- FEEDBACK I ASKED TO WORK ON MY LEFT KNEE INSTEAD OF MY ARM. IT WAS SO NEAT! HE HOOKED IT UP AND IT SHOWED THAT THERE WAS NO CONNECTION FROM MY BRAIN. BASICALLY MY BRAIN COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAD A LEFT KNEE. BECAUSE OF THAT I HAD NO MUSCLE, SO AFTER ABOUT 5 MINUTES OF USING THE COMPUTER TO LET MY BRAIN FIND THE CONNECTION, WE HAD IT WORKING. I WAS SO EXCITED THAT I KEPT WORKING ON IT UNTIL MY LEG FATIGUED. I WAS PROUD, BUT THEN I LEFT AND MY LEG WAS SO TIRED I COULDN'T GET ON THE ELEVATOR BEFORE THE DOORS CLOSED. IT TOOK ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE SOMEONE WAS GETTING OFF AND COULD HOLD THE DOOR FOR ME, AND SOMEONE ELSE HELD IT SO I COULD GET OFF. I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY. THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO SHOW OFF.
OK BACK TO CALIFORNIA, IT WAS COUSIN KRISTINA'S BIRTHDAY, SO THEY GOT A STRETCH HUMMER LIMO AND WE ALL WENT TO TEMECULA, TO A WINERY. THEN WE TRIED TO GO TO DINNER, BUT THE PLACE HAD CLOSED. FOR ANYONE THAT'S BEEN IN A LIMO IT'S USUALLY STOCKED WITH ALCOHOL, AND WHILE I CAN'T DISCLOSE DETAILS, WE WILL JUST SAY IT WAS A PARTY ON WHEELS! WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN! I THINK EVERY PICTURE OF ME, MY MOUTH WAS WIDE OPEN FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. WHAT FUN WE HAD! I STAYED WITH AUNT BECKY AND UNCLE FRANK AND THEY HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD GIRL THAT IS VERY CUTE, BUT MADE ME THINK OF MY GIRLS CONSTANTLY. BY SUNDAY NIGHT I WAS SO READY TO BE HOME WITH MY BABIES. IT WAS A REALLY LONG DRIVE HOME. I HAD BOUGHT LOTS OF STUFF AT THE BEACH FOR MY GIRLS AND HAD COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GET ANYTHING FOR ALBERT, BUT AT LEAST HIS AUNT MONICA GOT HIM STUFF. I WAS VERY HAPPY TO BE HOME AND DECIDED THAT IF I NEED TO GET AWAY, NEXT TIME I WILL JUST GO TO GRANDMA ANN'S SO I'M NOT SO FAR FROM THE GIRLS , AND IT'S ONLY A 5 MIN. DRIVE HOME. LIFE IS BACK TO OUR ROUTINE NOW. ME, THE GIRLS, BREAKFAST, CLEAN, LUNCH, CLEAN IT, DAD COMES HOME TO MAKE DINNER. I KNOW THEY ARE KIDS, BUT THEY ARE SO MESSY! I CAN'T EVER CATCH UP! MY POOR ALBERT ENDS UP DOING A LOT OF HOUSE WORK. THE GIRLS ARE SLOWLY LEARNING TO HELP TOO. I ALWAYS THINK OF THE SAYING THAT CLEANING HOUSE WHILE THE KIDS ARE HOME IS LIKE SHOVELING WHILE IT'S STILL SNOWING . THAT IS SO VERY TRUE . MONDAY OUR FAVORITE VISITOR IS COMING FOR 2 DAYS. IT'S GRANDMA TERESA. NOW I KNOW MY MOM LOVES ME A TON, BUT I ALSO KNOW SHE MAKES THE VERY LONG DRIVE TO SEE HER GRAND DAUGHTERS AND I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. WE GET VERY EXCITED TO HAVE HER. IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS FOR US EACH TIME. SHE REALLY IS THE BEST. I'M SO LUCKY IN A MILLION WAYS !
LOVE TO ALL, HAVE A GREAT WEEK,
GOD BLESS!